I got an ad in the mail today for a gym, promising results (i.e. weight loss) for anyone who would join. Here's what you're really getting with your membership:

• A shaming "health" assessment where you are told your BMI, body fat % and other nonsensical numbers that make you feel like crap.
• A restrictive diet from a personal trainer who isn't qualified to be giving this advice in the first place.
• A sense of personal failure when the diet doesn't work.
• Subsequent weight gain from the backlash of the restrictive diet.
• A headache from the mind-numbing act of stationary movement on the cardio equipment.
• A staph infection from the weights that nobody ever cleans (I'm kidding….hopefully).
• Frustration with the time and money you later realize you wasted after you've stopped going to the gym because it wasn't fun or enjoyable to begin with.

Sign me up? I don't think so.