Welcome back to Rebuilding Trust With Your Body, I’m Katy Harvey and we’ve got a great episode today. 

I was chatting with the women inside Non-Dieter’s Club the other day (which is my new program for women who are in or near perimenopause to make peace with food and their body for good without dieting) – ANYWAY…I had asked them what feels hard right now. What they’re most worried about when it comes to the holidays with food and their bodies, and one of the things that came up multiple times was feeling stressed about being judged for their weight. Or judged for no longer being on a diet and actively trying to lose weight. 

A lot of you apparently have family members who love to make comments about other people’s bodies, or that will try and control how many desserts are offered because they thing sugar is the worst thing ever and that nobody should be allowed to eat it, and some of you have family members who get together and all they do is swap stories about what diet they’re on, or they bash their bodies and talk about how much weight they need to lose and how gross they feel and how they shouldn’t be eating all this holiday food.

It’s honestly exhausting. Because once you see diet culture for what it is, you can’t un-see it, and it will either trigger you or drive you nuts.

So in this episode I’m going to give you some specific strategies for what to do BEFORE you go to your holiday gatherings where you’re worried about your body being judged, what to do while you are there if you’re in your head feeling insecure, and some scripts for what to say if someone does comment on your body.

Before we do our Wellness Woo – really quick, since I know it’s a super busy week with Thanksgiving happening on Thursday – because you’re a podcast listener and you’re one of my ride or die’s, I’m going to tell you about what I am offering from Black Friday through Cyber Monday, because the spots are limited and I want to give you first dibs. In fact, I’m going to let you grab it early if you DM me or email me so that you can get one of the spots before they’re gone…

I’m going to be offering 30% off of my 3 day private messenger coaching called Non-Diet Hotline. 3 Days of Private Messenger Coaching to Overcome Your Current Struggles With Food, Body and Health, and Move Forward With a Game Plan You Feel Great About.

So we can spend 3 days together doing high level coaching via direct messaging text or voice memo, and we’ll identify specific struggles that you have, and you’ll get my guidance on how to work past it. This is a GREAT option if you have a specific health condition you want to talk through from the IE perspective using gentle nutrition, or if you are struggling with something like emotional eating or boredom eating in the evenings, or your body image is in the trash and you want to start feeling better about yourself and more confident in your skin but you don’t know how to actually get there. You can literally ask me anything, nothing is off limits, nothing is too taboo. Maybe you’re in perimenopause and you’ve gained weight without anything changing with your eating or exercise, or you’re having intense sugar cravings, or your energy levels suck. I can help you with all of this. 

Here’s the deal though…there are only 5 spots available total. My coaching calendar is really full, so I’m only able to offer this to 5 people. And these spots will most likely go quickly. So if you want one, reach out to me asap. I know that it’s a holiday week and you’ve got a thousand other things on your mind, so do it right now before you forget. 

Normally this Non-Diet Hotline offer is $127, and for Black Friday you can snag it for just $97. Imagine solving some of your biggest problems for under $100….you’re honestly crazy if you don’t take advantage of this.

So email or DM me and I’ll get you set up! 

Before we dive into our main topic for today, you know what time it is…We’ve got some Wellness Woo to talk about. 

Wellness Woo is the stuff that diet and wellness culture tells us we should do in the name of health, but it’s really based on pseudoscience, exaggerated claims, or just nonsense. 

Today’s Wellness Woo is: Toasters

A client of mine sent me this clip that Michael Ulloa shared on his Instagram. I love Michael – he’s a former OT who is now a non-diet personal trainer and he does a great job debunking a lot of the nonsense in the wellness space (plus he’s really funny and down-to-earth, which I love).

So he shared this clip where 2 people on a podcast were talking about how toasters are destroying our health. And the guy claims that people who have a toaster weigh 6# more than people who don’t. 

And he says that having a toaster prompts you to put something in it when you walk through your kitchen…which made me laugh, because how many of us are doing a drive by when we walk past the toaster and we think OMG I need to toast something right now. (There are a lot of things that we’ll impulsively grab when we’re walking through the kitchen, but I don’t know that toasting something and sitting there waiting for it to be done is one of them.) 

His argument is that people who have a toaster eat more food from a toaster…which, like, yes…I suppose is true. And people who own a microwave probably eat more food from a microwave than people who don’t own one (which side note, I did a wellness woo on microwaves back in episode 156 because wellness culture has a vendetta against all of our appliances that make our life easier). 

Not only is this not based on any evidence, and it’s just further fueling the narrative that carbs are bad – because that’s what we put in toasters, right? – but beyond this having no science behind the claims this guy is making about how bad toasters are for us, it’s another example of missing the point when it comes to health.

Wellness culture has us fixating on these absurd things like toasters, and lectins, and electrolytes, and things that don’t actually matter that much in the grand scheme of things.

If Wellness Culture actually cared about you being well, they’d be talking about how to make the cost of food more affordable and food more accessible for all people, and about how to improve access to healthcare, and we’d be having boring conversations about how all foods can fit as part of a balanced diet, and how movement doesn’t have to be extreme or complicated to be beneficial. 

The truth is that the things that actually make us healthy aren’t exciting or sensational. And you don’t need to be afraid of your toaster. Good grief.

If you have an example of Wellness Woo that you want to share, DM it to me!

Ok, that’s enough of that. Moving on to today’s main topic…How to navigate your fear of being judged for your weight at holiday gatherings.

So in this episode I’m going to give you some specific strategies for what to do BEFORE you go to your holiday gatherings where you’re worried about your body being judged, what to do while you are there if you’re in your head feeling insecure, and some scripts for what to say if someone does comment on your body.

SECTION 1: PREP WORK BEFORE YOU GO

Set yourself up for confidence, safety, and groundedness before you even step through the door.

1.1. Get Clear on Your Own Narrative

• What story are you telling yourself about your body right now?
  
• This is where we’re going to do some internal work first. Because as important as things like boundaries are with other people and the comments they make – it actually starts inside by having boundaries with yourself and how you let yourself talk to you about your body. Part of why we’re so afraid of someone commenting on our body at the holidays is that they might just be saying out loud what we already think about ourselves. OH SNAP, yes I said it. If you didn’t actually believe this about yourself, you wouldn’t be so afraid of someone saying it to you. It makes you feel insecure because it’s an insecurity that already exists within you.
  
  • “My body is allowed to change.”
    
  • “My weight isn’t up for discussion.”
    
  • “I don’t have to justify my body to anyone.”
    
  • I want you to write these down, and put them on sticky notes somewhere in your environment where you’re going to see it each day…on your mirror, on the dashboard of your car, on your computer monitor, on your desk, on your kitchen counter, on your bathroom counter, in your makeup bag, in your closet. You need to be prompted and reminded to reframe your thoughts around this. These thoughts aren’t just going to magically change on their own.
    

1.2. Choose your outfit ahead of time

• Choose an outfit that feels physically comfortable and emotionally safe
  
• 3 deep breaths before leaving your house – use the Powerful PAuse
  
• Pick a body neutrality mantra to anchor you (or re-listen to this episode on your way there!)
  

1.3. Anticipate the Trigger Points

• Who tends to comment on body/food?
  • Set a boundary ahead of time
  • Stay away from them
  • Control the conversation
  • Protect your peace
    
• What situations feel hardest—walking in? Seeing someone thinner? Posing for photos?
  • Walking in: Practice how you will walk in (or visualize it)
  • Write out your thought reframes about seeing someone thinner, or someone who lost weight since you last saw them. (e.g. “Their body is none of my business” or “I don’t know their full story or their inner world” or “Their body size has nothing to do with my body, my self-esteem or my food choices”)
    
• Your pre-game strategy:
  
  • Identify your biggest worry
  • Name how you want to handle it
  • Decide in advance what boundaries you want to hold, how you’re going to treat yourself, and what you’ll do if you’re struggling.
    

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SECTION 2: WHAT TO DO DURING THE GATHERING

Tools to use in the moment when insecurity—or diet talk—hits.

2.1. Use the “Powerful Pause”

• Notice → Name → Nurture
  
• “I’m feeling tight in my chest because I’m imagining people are judging my body.”
  
• “This makes sense.”
  
• “How can I support myself right now?”
  

2.2. Ground Yourself in the Present (Not Imagined Judgment)

• Strategies:
  
  • Connect with one safe person
  • Feel your feet on the ground
  • Take a temperature check:
    • Am I hungry? Thirsty? Overstimulated?
    • Do I need a break?
  • Shift your attention to:
    
    • Conversations
    • Holiday moments
    • Sensory grounding (scents, sounds, textures, name 5 colors)

2.3. When You Feel Triggered by Someone Else’s Body (Thinner, Changed, etc.)

• Normalize body comparison as a reflex, not a moral failure
  
• Reframe:
  
  • “Her body says nothing about mine.”
  • “Different body, different biology, different life.”
    
• Comparison-disruptor technique: Change the channel in your brain

2.4. Manage Internal Panic Without Leaving the Party (Unless You Want To)

• Mini grounding resets
• Step away for a breath
• Repeat your chosen mantra
• Remind yourself:
  • “My body doesn’t need to shrink for me to belong here.”
  • “I’m allowed to take up as much space as I need” – s/o to Mary!

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SECTION 3: IF SOMEONE COMMENTS ON YOUR BODY OR FOOD

Scripts + boundaries that are firm AND graceful, so your listeners feel empowered—not put on the defensive.

3.1. If They Comment on Your Weight

Offer several versions based on tone and personality:

Neutral + Direct:

• “I’m focusing on listening to my body these days, not my weight.”

Redirect:

• “I’d rather talk about something else—how’s work going?”

Boundary:

• “I’m not discussing my body, but thanks for understanding.”

Humorous:

• “My body is not accepting feedback today.”

Sassy: 

• “Did you mean to say that out loud?”

3.2. If They Comment on Other People’s Bodies

• “Bodies aren’t the most interesting thing about people.”
• “Let’s not talk about people’s weight—how was your trip?”
  

3.3. If They Comment on Your Food Choices

• “This feels good to my body today.”
• “I listen to my hunger and cravings now.”
• “I’m good—thank you.”

3.4. If Someone Brings Up Their Diet

• “I’m focusing on what helps me feel my best, not dieting.”
• “That’s great for you.” (and change subject)

3.5. When You Want to Shut It Down QUICKLY

• “I’m not talking about diets or bodies today.”
• “Let’s keep diet talk off the table—I came here to enjoy myself.”

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SECTION 4: AFTER THE GATHERING

Process any emotional residue so the event doesn’t stick to you for days.

4.1. Debrief With Compassion, Not Criticism

4.2. Reconnect to Your Body (Not the Old Dieting Story)

• Gentle movement
• Cozy rest
• Nourishment
• Journaling prompt:
  • “Where did I show up in alignment with the version of myself I’m becoming?”
  • What went well?
  • What was hard?
  • What do I want to do differently next time?

Wrapping Up

Choose one boundary, one mantra, one script, or one pre-gathering ritual to practice this week – and DM me and let me know which one you choose! I love hearing from you in the DMs on FB or IG!! (And yes, it’s really me that responds to every single one, not a robot or a virtual assistant – ME)

And for everyone who celebrates, Happy Thanksgiving! I am beyond thankful for YOU and I hope you have a wonderful holiday. I know it can be hard for a lot of reasons, and if you need any extra support, reach out to me, or come into my IEME FB group, where there are tons of other people who GET IT. You don’t have to go through the challenges of the holiday season alone. 

Be gentle with yourself, listen to your body, and remember that holiday food is still just food.

And in case nobody has told you today – you are worthy just as you are. We’ll talk again soon.

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