Katy Harvey: Hey, I am Katy Harvey, a non-diet dietician. If you’ve spent years battling food in your body, I’m here to show you the path to healing here on the Rebuilding Trust With Your Body podcast, I teach you how to find your own freedom with food through tools, strategies, mindset, shifts. And heartfelt discussions around what it means to make peace with food and your body while still existing in diet culture.

I believe that all bodies deserve respect, and that health is so much more than a number on the scale. It’s about connecting with our true selves and learning that our relationship with food is more important than the food itself. So if you are ready to discover the freedom of rebuilding trust with your body, grab a seat and maybe a snack.

And let’s do this.

Welcome back to another incredible episode of Rebuilding Trust with Your Body. This episode is going to be so powerful for you because you are going to hear the real life story of healing and going from dieting and obsessing over food and weight. To have peace and freedom with food as an intuitive eater with one of my very own clients who has so graciously agreed to peel back the curtain to go behind the scenes to share her story.

Now, before we dig into the actual conversation with my client, I wanna give you some backstory and some context to set the scene for the discussion. Sarah came to me about a year and a half ago, and she started out inside my intuitive eating workbook program. It’s called Intuitive Eating Exploration.

You’ll hear her talk about how she had hit rock bottom with dieting one day in her doctor’s office, and she knew that she needed to do something different besides going on one diet after another because she could see that it wasn’t working for her. It was actually making her gain weight, not lose it.

And so once she heard about intuitive eating and started looking into it, she realized that this approach made so much more sense to her. She took intuitive eating exploration to help her figure out how to apply all 10 of those principles that are in the intuitive eating book into her everyday life.

And you’ll hear her talk about how the intuitive eating approach deep down felt so much healthier to her because she knew that the diets she was doing weren’t actually health promoting behavior. It wasn’t actually making her healthier or thinner. So she went through the workbook and decided to go deeper to really transform her relationship with food and her body and exercise and her health.

And she took my signature program, non diet academy. And then from there she did my alumni program, non Dieters club. So we had that longevity in our coaching relationship. I want you guys to have that context. I’ve had the pleasure of seeing Sarah’s transformation from where she first started. Intuitive eating all the way through to where she feels really solid now with how it fits into her life and how to navigate challenges that come up, and I want you to see what that healing arc looks like.

So that you can replicate it for yourself, and what I want you to really listen to Sarah talk about is how she did the work, what it looked like for her to learn how to do intuitive eating, the way that it’s meant to be done, so that you can follow her lead and accelerate your own progress. There’s a part, it’s kind of towards the end where she talks about.

What she does when she’s having a bad body image day and all of these different skills and strategies that she basically pulls out of her toolkit and she will utilize. It’s such a good example of how do you take these concepts and actually put them into practice. And so I want you to hear her describe what she actually does when she’s having one of those days.

And I want you to be able to take this and see, okay, this is what it looks like to do the work, to apply the skills and the strategies and the concepts, and to put this into action so that you can see and discover what it’s like to find healing as well. You’re gonna hear her talk about and describe what it is that you can look forward to on the other side of all of this work.

So I will quit rambling. Without further ado, let’s get into my conversation with my dear client, Sarah. Sarah, thank you so much for being here. I know that this conversation is gonna help so many people because they’re gonna see themselves in parts of your story, so I cannot wait to dig in. Yeah, that’s great.

Sarah Jelken: Thank you for having me, Katy. I’m really excited. To be here and have this opportunity. I’ve been a super fan of the podcast for quite a while, and so I’m just honored to be able to be a part of it, and I hope that my journey will help some others.

Katy Harvey: Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And it’s such a vulnerable thing to talk about that I think so often, you know, we just hear people talking about what diet they’re on or whatever, and we don’t hear these real, authentic conversations about what does it look like to realize that there are issues in your relationship with food and to decide to do the deeper work of healing that.

And so I really hope we can bring that aspect of it to the forefront here. In a way that is, you know, hopefully kind of refreshing for people. So let’s kind of talk about like the before and after a little bit, so to speak, of, you know, it’s like we always see the billboards of the before and after pictures of, of dieting, but I wanna talk about the before and after of your relationship with food.

So what was your relationship with food like before you discovered intuitive eating and before you did the intru eating workbook and non-diet academy, what was your relationship with food like when you were stuck in diet culture and diet mentality?

Sarah Jelken: You know, I was in a place when I found intuitive eating that I was pretty unhappy and, you know, kind of hit rock bottom.

I remember crying in my doctor’s office during a physical because it felt like no matter what I was doing, I was gaining like 10 pounds a year. It just felt like no matter what, and so my relationship was tumultuous. I think I really felt a lot about restriction and what was allowed or what wasn’t. I think really a lot of food that was good or bad.

I mean, I know for sure I would never drink any kind of beverage that had calories unless it was a glass of wine from time to time. But I mean, I would never drink a full calorie soda or anything like that. I would be very conscientious about what time I would eat. Not after 8:00 PM And I definitely thought food was good and bad and felt really upset or distraught if I was going to have to eat what I thought were bad foods.

And that could be anything from cheese because it didn’t have fiber in it to candy to whatever it was. And a lot of times I would even, you know, looking back, say I would obsess about. If I was going to a party, what would be the food that was gonna be there? Would it be something that I could eat or not?

And I’d also go through periods of, I’m going on vacation. I need to restrict for the two weeks before. So I see a lot of disordered elements within that, but it really just felt normal because that’s kind of how I’d grown up since probably I’d been a teenager, I’d been. You know, let’s go on this diet, like a grapefruit diet, or maybe it’s a low carb diet, or all these different things.

And so I had a lot of different thoughts and I just felt confused because whatever I was trying, I would lose weight for a while, then it would all come back, and so it just felt like I didn’t know what to do anymore.

Katy Harvey: So for you, was there a specific moment that stands out? Like was it the thing in your doctor’s office, or were there other moments when you were like, the light bulbs are going off, that you realized that your old ways of eating and dieting weren’t working anymore?

Sarah Jelken: Definitely the moment in the doctor’s office was kind of the, I have to do something. But I think for a long time I’d started to feel like. It felt really strange and not like common sense to me that we should be forcing ourselves to do certain things or only eat certain kind of foods. And so I think for quite a while it’d been feeling like this didn’t make sense or I’d feel funny.

I wouldn’t feel very good, a lack of energy if I was doing a certain program. And it also felt disingenuous sometimes the programs that are out there. It was maybe more about making money and not customized or really focused on health needs. And so I think I was struggling with knowing that what I was doing wasn’t working, but really not knowing what to try or, or what to do.

And that’s where I think that kind of moment came up in the doctor’s office because I literally, you know, I think, you know, I’d gone through this physical and they’re like, you should lose a bit of weight. You know, I had good health numbers. No health numbers to watch out for a good heart health, all these things.

But they’re like, really, your, your main issue is weight. You need to lose some. And I just didn’t know how anymore at that point. So I think that was really what drove me to my frustration is where you’re in the medical world, can you actually figure out how to get help or what to do? And that’s when I started talking to the doctor.

She sent me to a nutritionist through the doctor’s office and they mentioned intuitive eating. It was the first time I’d ever heard of it. That was really powerful.

Katy Harvey: It’s interesting to know where people came upon intuitive eating or how that, that phrase entered their world. Yes.

Sarah Jelken: Well, I was just gonna say, for me, it was just mentioned as a phrase in a doctor’s appointment, and so there wasn’t a lot of information. And so immediately I went out and, and looked up the book and got the book on my Kindle. And that’s really where I started reading about the principles and it just resonated with me in a way that something really hasn’t, because it seemed, you know, there had been studies and there had been kind of a lot of work that had gone into it, and it didn’t feel like they were also trying to sell something to you only, you know, it was really based on a lot of clinical work that had happened.

And so as I started digging through that, probably about a four or five months in, I was like, I need more resource with this. And so. That’s how I ended up finding your Facebook group, and it really has changed my life to be part of that community and go through a non-diet academy because it helped me bring those 10 pieces of intuitive eating to life in a way that I couldn’t have done without help.

Katy Harvey: Oh, that’s awesome. I love hearing that. Yeah. Are there any like food rules or food fears that come to mind that you used to have that don’t have power over you anymore because of this process?

Sarah Jelken: Yes, absolutely. Well, one, if I really want a beverage that has calories in it today, I drink it and I don’t feel nervous about that.

I listen to my body and what feels right at the time. And a good, a great example is Gatorade. You know, I’ll go golfing. And I’ll be sweating or doing things and sometimes I want a Gatorade, but I wouldn’t get one because it had calories in it before and it’s been really freeing just to say, you know what, that’s actually, that’s my body and how it processes, it’s fine.

So I think that was one that blew my mind. And another one too is just in general, making peace with food. I don’t have foods that I’m afraid of anymore. I used to, you know, a great example is Girl Scout cookies. So I think a lot of people can relate to Girl Scout cookies and. If they sell them once a year, and I would go through them pretty quick, but now I can have ’em in my cupboard for months and months because I’ll just eat them when I want ’em.

And I’m not afraid of having them, you know, before they were taboo.

Katy Harvey: Yeah, that’s incredible. And I think you’re exactly right. Whether it’s girl Scout cookies or just, you know, cookies in general, or sweets, I think a lot of people can relate to that, where they wouldn’t allow themselves to keep those things in the house because they would just inhale them so quickly and feel guilty.

But making peace with the food and through that charming process that that we talk about, it allows you to be able to have these foods without going overboard and for them to not be calling to you or. Making you want to eat large quantities of them in one sitting. So that’s absolutely incredible. I love that.

So what does an average day of intuitive eating look like for you? Like what’s a day in the life on just a random Tuesday look like when it comes to eating intuitively?

Sarah Jelken: Yes. Well, I get up in the morning and I like to make a point. I’ve learned over time. That having some protein kind of carb fat to get my day going, but especially with the protein, really helps.

And prior to intuitive eating, I would often not eat breakfast or I, I would, but it would be haphazard around what was available. So now I try to be a little bit deliberate so I get up and get ready for the day and have breakfast. I really like. Egg bites that I find at the store. I also really am a fan when I’m in a hurry of just the protein, like Premier protein shakes on the go is really nice when I’m running behind, which I often am in the morning, so, and I, I like to pair it with a piece of fruit.

So banana is big in my house, so banana in the morning and some kind of protein source is kind of a go-to and I work. So my days are pretty busy running around. I don’t have any little ones at home. My. Kids are out of the house. So I may not be as hectic as some of your listeners, but it still feels crazy, the dog and everything running around.

And then I’m at the office all day. So one other thing I’ve found with my intuitive eating journey is I’m a lot more deliberate now about standing up. So I could be at a desk or running around in meetings, in conference rooms from kind of eight to noon would be my schedule. But I really make a point now that between every call I’m standing up, walking around, maybe grabbing some water and, and just moving a little bit more deliberately.

It feels better for my body at the end of the day. And that’s been a journey with intuitive eating that I didn’t think about that. I’ve also found that I would do mindless snacking and through the work that I put in Fruit on Diet Academy and some of our discussions. I really learned that was my transition or a little mental break between things.

If I was shifting gears, I thought emotional eating was really just if you were sad or happy or a strong emotion. But it was interesting, I found doing the work for me, it was moments of transition time when I wasn’t sure what to do next and, and be. So for me that kind of, you know, mid-morning I’m deliberate about getting up and moving, getting a bit of a snack.

I typically eat, grab lunch, and I would eat on the go around meetings. So another change. My whole life has changed with intuitive eating because. I would absolutely just eat in front of my computer without paying attention, and I really try to get some satisfaction and think about the different texture.

So when I go to the cafeteria for lunch, I’ll think a little bit about what am I in the mood for? Do I want something crunchy? Sweet, salty. And then what do I really need? What does my afternoon look like and feel like? So I’m a big fruit eater and one of my food roles before intuitive eating was really to limit fruit even.

So having that, and it seems funny now ’cause fruit is fruit. It’s great for you and sh with water and things, but I’d be very careful. So I’ll definitely throw in some fruit in the afternoon. My afternoons are also. Packed with work and then I would come home during the day, which often for me, by the way, on the road is my podcast listening time.

So that’s what a day in the life. I’ll check out the podcast and then I come home and that’s when I’ll try to get a little bit more movement in when I can. It could be walking the dog or sometimes it’s strength training. I’ve been working, that’s been a focus area of mine lately. So, and then dinner with my husband.

We like to cook together. It’s really freeing now to not be overly worried about it, but I do try to be deliberate that there is a carb, protein, fat, and some fiber in it before. One thing I realized too was a lot of my meals were, you know, I’d have spaghetti and I would only have one kind of carb, a protein, or a fat.

I wouldn’t really be combining. So I’ve been throwing things in now like, let’s make sure some meat is in there, or there was some vegetables, onions, and different things in. And then the end of the day on intuitive eating for me is my last couple hours at night are sitting down and watching TV with my dog and my husband, or reading a book, whatever.

If he’s watching sports, I’ll read or do that, and I used to mindlessly snack then, but I’ve kind of found over the year that I’m actually full and satisfied by then. And so I’ve kind of quit eating at night, which I never really thought would happen because that was my relaxed time. Now I’m much more focused on just feeling how full I am, and so typically it’s, yeah, reading something.

Katy Harvey: You know, it’s so interesting to me as you describe this. One thing that jumps out is just that food is not like it’s the thing you’re intentional about throughout the day, but it’s not this central focus and you’re not sitting there having these internal tug of wars like we tend to when we’re dieting.

And the other thing is you’re not describing the type of intuitive eating experience that’s a free for all with food, where you’re like, I’m, you know, I’m hitting the break room for the donuts. And then. I am, you know, getting all the things in the cafeteria and then I’m snacking all afternoon and at night.

And I think for some people that’s what they are afraid of. Or it might be kind of what they experience in the beginning of the process, but you’re really a good example of someone who, it has applied all of the principles and some of the general nutrition stuff to find that balance between enjoying what you want to.

Without going overboard that you’re also giving your body what it needs. And even your example of like getting up and moving your body a little bit throughout the day that like you realize that that feels good to your body and your body is letting you know what it needs.

Sarah Jelken: Yeah, that it’s well said. And it’s funny because I do think at the beginning for sure.

I know you and I have had conversations before where I, I was obsessed. There were these cookies that would happen at our lunches if we had a, a leadership team meeting, and we’d have a lunchbox and there’d be a cookie. And I’d be obsessed of, could I have a cookie, should I not, you know, what should I do?

And then at the, I wouldn’t need a cookie. I wouldn’t need a cookie. And at the end I’d grab like three of them, do, you know, and just like scarf them down. And now I go into the meeting and I mean, honestly, it’s been, you know, almost. For sure a, a solid year of hard work on this. And I don’t think about it anymore.

If I want a cookie, I get a cookie and often I eat a few bites and it actually feels good. And I think it’s really been a powerful journey to get to a point where sometimes you, you know, you can say yes, and so sometimes you do wanna say no. And it was similar like with coffee, so I like a good mocha from time to time, but I would get.

Low fat syrup, no whipped cream. And when I started I thought, you know, I wanna try it with the full everything because it’s been so taboo for so long. But I realized that actually I like it with only half the pumps of chocolate. And I don’t want the whipped cream on it because I just, it’s almost too rich and too much when I do that.

And, but that took me. A couple months of trying it to get there. But I think you have to lean in and be willing to try it and understand, like lean into the scary because you just have to have resources and not do it alone and have a conversation. And then I think you do see the other end of it, but I, I don’t know that I would’ve believed that if I asked myself that a year ago.

Katy Harvey: Yeah, it’s a little bit of a leap of faith in the beginning for sure. What would you say to someone who’s scared to try those scary things? Who’s afraid? To let go of some of their rules, especially if they’re afraid that it’s going to cause them to gain weight. Because I think for most people that it’s like, yes, they might be worried about their health, but at the end of the day, it’s really the weight gain fear that is holding them back.

What would you say to a person who’s in that place? Yeah,

Sarah Jelken: I can relate to that because I had those fears myself, and I think the biggest thing I’d say, well, one just practically is what you’re doing now working for you because. No, I mean, really is it gonna hurt that much? And then we’ve all known if you try that for two weeks, that’s not something that’s gonna permanently change you.

So really, one, what have you got to lose? Honestly, because you’re here, you’re seeing this or feeling it because something isn’t working. So trying, this isn’t gonna, you know, I mean, why not? And then the second part is. Trying something for a couple weeks isn’t gonna derail your whole life. You know, it’s not gonna put you on a spiral that you can’t come out of, and so try it.

You don’t have anything to lose. And you know, we talk about the biggest precursor of. Weight gain is weight loss. Right. And so I think it’s not like doing other things is gonna do us any favors, so you might as well just try it. And the other thing I would say is, if you are nervous about it, I really think that having support in the community and with professionals that understand this is helpful also, and that maybe can feel like a bit of a security blanket to know that you’re not just going rogue, you know?

Katy Harvey: That’s a good point because then you’ve got that place to ask questions and to get support or to get feedback if maybe things are going a little bit wonky. You’ve got, you know, people who can maybe mirror that back or, you know, a place to kind of get some ideas about how to try things or think about things differently.

So I agree. I think having some level of support and community. Is helpful for most people. Absolutely. How would you say, when it comes to the health piece of things, how has your personal definition of health evolved through this process?

Sarah Jelken: I’m a very fortunate person that everyone has different health scenarios and I have decent cholesterol numbers, et cetera.

So coming into this, I have good genes. You know, I have a family that has had good health, and so that for me is fortunate. My focus was really physical. I do have a lot of knee issues, for example. And so being able to physically do things that I wanna do in my life, like go on a hike, that was one of my main issues.

And then, you know, candidly, I think a big measure of my health and life I thought was my weight. And that’s really changed for me. I’ll be honest though, if there’s one thing that I’m, there are many things I’m still working on, but probably the biggest is. It’s really hard to let go of wanting to be in a smaller body with the pressures in today’s society.

And so I don’t think, you know, I still, that weighs on me. I still have, you know, sometimes I’ll go a few weeks and it’s fine. Sometimes it’s every day where I do wish that I was in a smaller form. That doesn’t go away overnight. But I think what’s really changed for me is, is realizing that I am as. Good as a person for my family and friends and what I do regardless of what size body I’m in.

And that really unlocked a lot for me and my health and how I think about my health now, much more than my body size is focusing on the other piece I mentioned, which is my physical, what can I do? And that’s where I connected in what I eat does make me feel better and I never connected those. I knew that was true before.

But I didn’t put it together like I had before. Intuitive eating that, you know, really you can make that difference with what you put in your body helps you feel the energy and and how you feel. That’s really been a journey for me. So my health now is much more how am I feeling? What kind of energy do I have addressing my health problems?

So I do have a problem with my knee. How am I building strength around that, through physical therapy, et cetera. So that’s really, now when I think about health, how I think about it.

Katy Harvey: I really hear that shift from like, how do I just cut things out and eat less and try to lose weight? As the end all be all to thinking about what does your body need?

How can you provide that? What else can you do to support your knee? I, I love that. How has your relationship, you, you alluded to this a little bit, but I, I’d love to hear more your relationship with movement. What’s that like now compared to before you started your intuitive eating journey?

Sarah Jelken: I have had a love-hate relationship with movement.

I have never been an overly, you know, I wasn’t in a sport, I was in the marching band, and so I did do things, you know, physical and moving around, and I love swimming and different things throughout my life and walking outside in nature. But I’ve never been the person who’s like, let’s go on a hike. And I’m like, really?

That sounds horrible. I’m not, I’m not. You know, physical in that way generally. So I am really seeing physical movement as a way to shrink my body or make my body look a certain way. And that was really what it’s been even, and that’s been a hard journey. I did not find a lot of joy in movement. And so one of the things that, going through this I’ve realized is.

If I wanna address the health problems or really feel my best, I actually need to have muscles. And it actually feels so fun to be strength training and building muscles and going out and doing things and not having my knee hurt or bother me. And so I think finding things that don’t feel painful to you so that you can continue doing them and wanna do them was, has been key.

And I’m definitely on that path now. The other one I’ll say is, and this really, you know, spoiler alert, because this is one of the big takeaways for me in the work that I’ve been doing, but was, you know, you, you’ve said it, it’s, it’s basically about not making excuses. And I’m probably, I don’t know, Katy, maybe you can say the phrase exactly, you know how we’ve talked about it, but.

It’s really, I think it was, if you think that you don’t have time for working out, you really aren’t able to set boundaries was essentially the, the takeaway. And that was like holding a mirror to my face because I thought, you know what? I am too busy. I have a very demanding career and so I travel a lot for work.

I am always, you know, working, my husband will say many, many hours morning to night. And in reality, I just wasn’t setting boundaries for myself to do it and make the time. And that’s really been the fundamental switch for me was I never had time and I didn’t like doing it. So can you find something you like and then can you just say, this is a, a hard boundary and I’m gonna prioritize this and, and make it happen?

And doing that has been the only way that I’ve been able to actually get movement. And it’s. It felt really good. I’m sure I’ll lapse again at some point, so we’ll see how I navigate that. But right now I actually feel like I’m at the beginning of a really good place with movement for the first time, probably in my life.

And

Katy Harvey: it’s really cool. Yeah. Yeah. And it, it absolutely will evolve ’cause life evolves and our bodies evolve and yeah. Very cool. I’m glad that that was an aha for you, that it, it was about you being able to make that a priority in your life and to find ways to fit it in and to think about where do you need to set some, some boundaries and maybe dial back on how much you were working.

Or for some people it’s like, how much are you scrolling on social media or whatever we might be doing.

Sarah Jelken: Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And I think too, with that, I had an all or nothing mindset. When it came to movement, I really thought I had to be in it. And you know, then my food needed to pair up with it, right? I needed to be eating salads only and doing, you know, a 5K every day.

And I really had, I think, a disconnected thought on what was normal or expected. And I think that’s hard today when you see just things on social media or talk to people and all the programs they’re doing. So I think what’s been freeing for me is. Actually learning and talking to people and seeing strength training is fine.

Walking, is this good for you? Or doing some intervals. You don’t have to go out and do these extreme things. So I think it’s just a good reminder for people to challenge yourselves on what you really think is needed and versus reality. And I think, I thought I’d always just fail ’cause I could never hit that expectation.

Mm-hmm. But in reality, that’s not even really what you need to be healthy. So.

Katy Harvey: Yeah, absolutely. And it’s so easy to fall into that all or none mindset and to pair it with basically like dieting behavior and, and so to have to separate those two out is huge. Yeah. I, I’m also curious ’cause you, you mentioned earlier a couple of things where like cooking with your husband or being in these meetings with your coworkers, I, I’m curious, how has your relationship with people in your life changed?

As a result of healing your relationship with food?

Sarah Jelken: It’s a great question and definitely when I think about it, there’s been a little bit of journey where you’re excited and I think you can go either way, where you’re either excited and you wanna talk about your journey or it’s kind of private and you wanna keep this for yourself and kind of honor that and it’s raw and you wanna explore it.

And I’ve probably gone in and out of both of those at different times. In some ways it’s been hard because some of my friends and family members wanna go on these diets and that’s what you talk about and you have it in common and they want you to join in and do it. And I remember there was a time it was, uh, I shared with my family, you know, what I’ve been doing.

And it was over the holidays this year. And generally over the holidays we’ll reflect a little bit on goals for the next year things and. I was sharing about intuitive eating and how it wasn’t about having to set an all or nothing kind of goal that you have to achieve and be successful, but maybe more what are ambitions you would like to work towards and make it be more like that.

And I kind of almost felt when I talked to my family, like, they’re like, whoa, here she is evangelizing, you know, about her program. And so it, it was kind of this moment where I’m like, man, they don’t maybe get it and it’s okay that they don’t get it. I, I can’t try to just convince them to get it. People need to figure it out at their own time.

But that was hard for me because I wanna make them all enjoy it and know it like I do, or feel the freedom. And a lot of the ways, you know, I connect with my family is about what are we doing to be smaller? And so, you know, we have been overweight in my family and so it’s how do we, what are we working on or doing?

And I think that was. That’s been hard for me to let go of that. And now my relationship, I would say I just, I let it flow over me, like words over a duck’s back, you know, like water. And I know they’re relating and they wanna share and that’s what we do. And, and so I just have to let that go. But it’s, it’s been hard at times and other times it’s exciting ’cause you find someone that.

Is interested and wants to talk about it, but it has made it different. And if anything, it’s made me focus on what other things can we talk about, what are other things in our relationship? We can connect on. And it might be, you know, with a lot of my friends who, a lot of my friends have kids, I talk more about what are your kids up to these days?

What are the sports they’re playing or the activities they’re doing? And so in a lot of ways it’s kind of deepened my relationships without even those people maybe knowing it because I am now connecting on a different level. I try to lead with other things, so that’s what I’m done. And it’s been good, but sometimes it’s hard also.

Katy Harvey: And I’m glad you’re acknowledging both the good parts and the hard parts. ’cause I, I think that’s true. You know, and that’s the reality of a lot of this is it’s not all sunshine and rainbows and there’s times where it is gonna feel like you’re very lonely or other people don’t get it, or. You’re not fitting in and you can’t, you’re not relating in those conversations the way that maybe you used to.

But that is interesting how you said, you know, it’s kind of forced you to, to come up with other things to talk about and that that’s actually enriched the relationship in many ways. Yes. Yeah, I’d love that. What about when you’re having those days that you do feel. Uncomfortable in your body or those days that you yearn to be smaller or that you kind of wish you were on the diet so you could chime into, like how do you deal with those types of, I’ll just call it like a bad body image day, basically.

Sarah Jelken: Yes, and I have them. I have them big time. For me, the biggest thing has been. Taking and, and really I learned this through this process because it used to be before it’d be overwhelming and I would wanna do a cleanse and a detox and take a couple days and reset and only eat certain foods. And I did that for probably 20 years.

And so it’s a lot to unwind that. My biggest thing right now is I remind myself to breathe. So I just take a deep breath. I try to sit in the emotion or feeling and be curious about what I’m thinking about. And if it’s really upsetting me, I also make a point, I don’t look in the mirror a lot that day. It just helps me not to, and I think about things I’m thankful for with my body.

So, you know, for example, I’m thankful for my legs because they help me walk around and do the things I wanna do, and I’m thankful for. Arms that can do certain things, you know, despite the fact that they have flab on them. Right. And I think one of my big journeys also through this was being body neutral and not having to be body positive because I, it’s also this all or nothing mentality and I really thought I had to love my body and it is okay to just be neutral about it.

That is fine. And some days being neutral is winning. I just remind myself that I’m the same great person that my family and friends love no matter what my body size is. And my body does a lot of great things, and that’s fun. I don’t have to love it, and it’s the one that I’m working with, so just move forward and I try to sit in it and then move on with the day.

And generally I’ll find within a couple hours I don’t feel bad anymore. Like it just, you know, moves on.

Katy Harvey: So. Interesting. Yeah. And I feel like what you just said right there. Is, it could be an entire masterclass in how to deal with the body image stuff and, and how to deal with those thoughts that, that someone might have about going back to dieting.

Because you know, I think what is so tempting in those moments is to Google how to lose weight fast. Or to say, okay, I’m gonna skip breakfast, or, I’m only having a protein shake for lunch today. And to basically go do. Dieting behaviors and, and to get sucked back into that head space. And it, it just fuels that whole mindset and makes you fixated on your body and how do you quote unquote, fix it.

So, you know, having all these tools that you can pull outta your toolkit where you’re practicing body gratitude, body neutrality. Acceptance, reminding yourself that your worth is more than your appearance or your number on the scale, and not doing a ton of body checking that day. Like those are all skills and actions that a person can do.

That are going to help them work through those moments and hopefully over time help have them happen, you know, less frequently and at less intensity. And, and to show you that you can sit in the suck and it doesn’t stay that way forever. Like you said, a couple hours later, you’re fine. You’re not even worrying about it.

Sarah Jelken: Yes. And it’s exactly right. And I, I have to say, those were all things that I didn’t know how to do before. And so the biggest thing I have to say is. It is good to get help and have that community, but really, you know, going through non Diet Academy, which you are not asking me to say this at all, I wanna disclose to everyone that you did not tell me to say this hashtag not and. It was not at all. But I can’t, I mean, honestly, it changed my life just in feeling empowered to know what to do. I did not know what to do. And having those skills and then. Practicing them because you can’t do it all at once. But it has been a multi-year journey and it’s just amazing now to feel like I can do that.

Because initially I a hundred percent wanted to sast or do something after that. But now I’m like, you know, it’s fine and, and it’s also freeing to go out and then continue just eating what your body needs in that moment. It’s not exhausting anymore. You know, I used to feel exhausted. Getting tied up in that, and I’ve been able to put energy in other places, so it does feel a lot better not getting weighed down on those body image days.

It’s still hard, don’t get me wrong, but. It doesn’t consume me like it did.

Katy Harvey: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Is so someone listening is stuck in this cycle where they’re kind of ping ponging back and forth between intuitive eating and dieting, and they’re just not so sure they feel kind of lost or frustrated in their relationship with food.

What would you say to them? What advice would you give to them? What do you want them to know about what is possible? What would you encourage them to do to help support themselves right now? I think first of all,

Sarah Jelken: they’re where they’re supposed to be in that moment. And so don’t get upset or don’t get, you know, we’re all on a journey and we’re doing the best that we can, and there’s a reason to celebrate that.

So, first of all, just be, take a little bit of peace and happiness and that you’re thinking about it in the first place because you’re, you wanna do the right thing for your body, right? And your life. So from there. I think the biggest thing, and I’ve kind of, you know, mentioned this already, but I’ll say it again ’cause it’s important.

I think really finding resources and help is critical. So that you know what to do. And with that, I also really believe in focusing on one thing at a time and not feeling overwhelmed by it. And so for me, one of the great things was, I think it was through probably intuitive eating exploration or something, but I went through the 10 and kind of ranked on a scale of one to 10 my comfort with each of the.

Intuitive eating principles, and some of them I was, I pretty felt comfortable with, like rejecting the diet mentality was very easy for me because I already felt like it was very flawed. And so hearing and educating about it, I’m like, oh, I’m, I’m a nine outta 10. I tums the high because that felt. I’m ready to reject that.

I, I haven’t liked it. It doesn’t make sense. I know it doesn’t work. But other ones like, I think initially for me feeling my hunger and fullness, so two different ones, but those two super challenging. I was very disconnected from it. And so for me, I really said, I’m just gonna work on this right now. And just by focusing on hunger, for example, really helped me.

Dial that in and, and then I did it again. You know, six months later I’m like, let’s read through this again. How am I doing on a scale of one to 10 with these? And I had moved further along with my hunger, but at that point it might have been my movement, you know, or gentle nutrition that, that I was like, yeah, I’m not really leaning in.

And so I think just don’t feel like you have to do everything all at once, would be my advice. Start with one saying. And practice it. Do exercises around it until you get comfortable and that makes it feel less overwhelming. That paired with doing it with someone who is qualified and knows something and or there can be a community around it.

I think those are the two things that I’d say that’s

Katy Harvey: such brilliant advice and I love the tip to just go through each principle and like rate it on a scale of one to 10, ’cause that’s gonna reveal to a person. Okay. What are the areas that you feel the least confident in and to focus on those? I think that’s such a great idea and it makes me think about, right now I’m coaching my son’s little league baseball team, which is a whole I.

Just experience in and of itself. But one of the things we focus on is, is like you’re saying, like, pick one specific skill and let’s do some drills. Let’s get some repetition, let’s practice, and then we can start to pull it all together to, you know, play the game, so to speak. So I think we can apply that same lesson here where you can pick one or two things to really focus your energy on and get those reps and get some practice in.

Then, like you said, you can go back through and and reevaluate periodically to gauge where you’re at and to be able to see your progress in that way. ’cause it’s hard when we don’t have the scale to measure progress anymore. It’s like, how do you know if you’re getting anywhere with it?

Sarah Jelken: It’s true. It’s so good to go back and look and see.

And I kept from my initial time where I ranked things and it was interesting to see how much my comfort with them had changed. And in some of them it hadn’t. I mean, for me, for like a whole year movement. Didn’t really move, you know, it, it was a, you know, a roadblock for me was getting through that one.

And, but finally get to the point where you’re like, all right, let’s really dig into this one now. So it’s, it is, it’s kind of encouraging to see when you read through it now, and maybe I was a two out of one to 10, you know, on the low side of something, and then coming back I’m like, no, I feel like I’m an eight now.

I mean, that kind of happened with the. Respecting your body, you know, and just kind of body image and thinking about that. I was really low initially, and that really moved. So it’s fun to see where you make progress and where you get stuck and be curious about it.

Katy Harvey: Yeah, that’s great. I love it. You, Sarah, are such a beautiful example of what it looks like to do the work of like, okay, this is how somebody.

Makes peace with food and with their body, and learns how to become an intuitive eater. And again, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows and there’ll still be things that are an ongoing work in progress. But I think it’s so helpful for people to hear a real life example of, you know, this is what it looks like.

These are some of the things you were doing. This is what has changed for you. Because it helps to give them kind of a roadmap or a template for what is possible and how they can do it too. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you for sharing all of this. I so appreciate you being here today.

Sarah Jelken: Yeah. Well thank you so much, Katy.

It is. Been my absolute pleasure and, and like I said, I went from crying in a doctor’s office and feeling really lost and finding out about intuitive eating and then really working with you through the programs have really helped me build those skill sets to do this. And it is a journey, as you said. I mean, I have, I am hard days still.

I have hard conversations with friends. When I get upset, things happen, but. It’s amazing to just not feel obsessed with what am I eating next? What does that look like? What could I be doing? What should I be doing? It’s just unlocked me being able to live my best life. And so I’m so thankful to Intuitive Eating.

I’m so thankful to Non-Diet Academy and just really appreciate everything that you’re doing to be a voice out there and a really a leader in this field. So thank you so much.

Katy Harvey: Oh, thank you. I appreciate it. If hearing Sarah’s story resonates with you and you are curious about what this work could look like for you, I would love to invite you to check out Non-Diet Academy.

My next live group cohort begins this fall and I have an extra special perk for those of you who secure your early bird spot right now that will actually allow us to get started early. At no additional cost to you so that you can experience the peace, the joy, and the freedom that Sarah talked about.

So reach out to me if you want to chat about this. And in case nobody has told you today, you are worthy just as you are.

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