There’s no doubt about it: intuitive eating can be incredibly freeing. You’re choosing to get back in touch with your body, to release the shackles of diet culture, and find peace with food – and within yourself. But nobody talks about the hard parts, like the grief and what you have to give up. 

Let’s explore the cost of choosing food freedom and peace with your body over diet culture’s false promises, and how to navigate the “messy middle” of knowing dieting isn’t right, but you’re not sure intuitive eating is the perfect fit either. 

Let’s talk about loss

When you choose intuitive eating, you typically hear how great it is, how wonderful you’ll feel, and, well, it’s generally all sunshine and rainbows. While intuitive eating can improve your health and rebuild your relationship with food and your body, it’s not all sparkles and unicorns. Stepping away from dieting can feel like a loss, and can leave you feeling scared, stuck, and uncertain. 

The truth is while there are some very real costs to letting go of dieting, some of them simply aren’t true. Let’s break it down. 

It can feel like you’re giving up dreams 

Diet culture is full of promises and dreams. You know the kind: 

• “When I hit my goal weight, I’ll finally be able to…” 
• “I’ll be so confident when I lose the weight…” 
• “Someday, when I’m thinner, I’ll finally wear the swimsuit/take the trip/go after the promotion.”

The truth:

Leaving diet culture behind can feel like you’re leaving those dreams behind. But the truth is all of these things are still possible. You can pursue your dreams in your body that you have as an intuitive eater. 

In fact, I’d argue that you’re more able to do so because you’re no longer spending all your mental energy, time, money, and creativity on dieting. You can show up more as the authentic version of yourself. That’s the person you want to be when you’re building your life.

You’ll be more present with your loved ones, more “you” in what you do, and you be so distracted by the constant thoughts about food.

You may feel like you have to give up feeling good about yourself

For many of us, our identity is tied into our body. We think that having a smaller body means we’re “healthier” or “more disciplined”. That if you manage to shrink your body, you’re “successful” and in control of food and your life. 

The root of these thoughts generally lead back to diet culture and weight stigma. These repercussions have reverberated throughout our culture and society, making it feel like you need to have the “right” kind of body to be “healthy” and “successful”. 

The truth:

Health is not defined by a number on a scale – that number just represents your gravitational pull. Nothing more. It does not define who you are.

What we need to do is rewire the stories you’re telling yourself about your body, the things that your self-esteem is hinging upon, and how you are defining “looking good.” 

These ideas about what’s desirable, attractive, or what it looks like to be healthy or fit are very much the things that have been burned into our brains over and over again by diet culture – the magazines, social media, movies, TV, advertisements – places where we are told that thin is good and morally superior, and fat is bad and represents failure and laziness. 

You don’t have to subscribe to this false belief system anymore. You don’t have to let these narratives that were handed to you by companies that are profiting off your body hatred and insecurities run your life anymore.

How you interact with society may change

Diet culture has created an anti-fat stigma and a weight bias in our society. When you step away from dieting, you’re also losing a lot of the “perks”. Some are perceived, like feeling admired for losing weight (“Wow, you look great! Have you lost weight?”). However, some are not, like: 

• Giving up being treated better and instead facing weight stigma in medical settings.
• Giving up the social status and currency that comes with thinness. 
• Giving up the sense of belonging that comes with dieting groups or being in the office “fitness” Slack. 

Let’s talk about dating for a moment. There is the perception out there that if you give up on dieting, you’re giving up dating opportunities as well. This is a tricky one because it may not actually be true. I have had tons of clients date, find partners, and even get married and have kids after they quit dieting and were in their larger body.  

The truth: 

You don’t have to give up on relationships with your friends, dating, or your partner. You might even build some incredible new relationships through the process.

You may be giving up the illusion of safety 

There is a sense of safety in dieting. You may not like how you look in photos or when you cross your legs, but you’ve got a plan, right? You’re following the rules that promise to fix it.

Breaking free of diet culture means giving up all of that…and that, for many of us, feels unsafe. 

There are also legitimate concerns, like giving up fitting easily into airplane seats, booths, or theater chairs. Another true one is giving up being able to shop anywhere for clothes. There are a lot of online clothing brands that are more size inclusive, so this one is figureoutable, but can still feel like a loss. Remember, you deserve to have clothing that fits your body at the size it’s meant to be. It’s not your job to shrink your body in order to fit into certain clothing sizes. 

The truth:

You don’t have to give up on your health. In fact, one of the biggest lies of dieting is that it will improve your health when research shows it’s the opposite. You don’t have to give up on being able to physically do things or on your mobility. 

How to navigate the messy middle 

Intuitive eating might feel like it costs a lot, but you’re gaining so much more. That tension that you feel between what you’re letting go of, the fears about your health and weight, and how you so desperately want to have peace with food, but you also still desperately want to be smaller – that’s the balancing act here. 

It’s hard to figure out how to navigate intuitive eating and healing your relationship with food when…

• Part of you still wants to diet
• Part of you still wants to track your food
• Part of you still wants to cut out carbs
• Part of you still wants to be able to post pictures of your weight loss journey, and for people to ask you what you’ve been doing to lose weight, and telling you how great you look 

The secret? Stop choosing sides. Leave diet culture in the past and go all in on intuitive eating. 

(If you’re still not sure or need help navigating this balancing act, join me in my FREE upcoming masterclass!) 

Remember, the things you gain from making peace with food, healing your relationship with your body, and figuring out how to honor your health in sustainable ways without the rigidity and extremes? These things that you gain by far outweigh what you give up by letting go of dieting and restricting. 

Choosing intuitive eating doesn’t mean pretending the grief isn’t real. It means acknowledging the loss of diet culture’s false promises while opening yourself up to freedom with food and your body. The messy middle is just that – a stage, not the end of the journey. Keep showing up for yourself. The peace, trust, and joy you’re craving are waiting for you on the other side.

In case nobody has told you today: you are worthy just as you are.

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Search for Ep.200 (Transcript): The Cost of Intuitive Eating: Facing Life Without Diet Promises

Looking for more support on your journey to food freedom and body acceptance?

– Check out my course, Non-Diet Academy
– Join my Facebook group & community “Intuitive Eating Made Easy”
– Take my FREE quiz “What’s Your Unique Path to Food Freedom?”
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