I have a special deal for you! It has a 95% failure rate, and comes with a set of rules that are impossible to follow. As a part of this special offer you'll also receive an overwhelming sense of personal failure, shame, guilt, frustration and overall sadness. For the 5% who are successful, you will have to rigidly follow the impossible rules I give you, and relentlessly track your compliance – for the rest of your life. Side effects include irritability, social isolation, and exhaustion.
As a bonus, you'll also receive a free product if you order now. I can't guarantee that the product you'll receive contains what the label on it says, and there's no way for you to tell either. But that's ok, because the product wasn't guaranteed to work anyway. In fact, I can't even promise it won't kill you or cause serious health problems, so fingers crossed!
Of course, the deal is for a diet, and the bonus product is a nutritional supplement.
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