Grace: Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of the Be Brave podcast with me, your host, Grace. Today, I’m thrilled to be joined by Katy Harvey, a non-diet dietitian and certified eating disorder specialist. We’ll be talking about learning to trust and accept your body in recovery and how this connects to intuitive eating.

So, without further ado, let’s jump in! Katy, thank you so much for being here today. I’m so excited to have you on the podcast!

Katy: Me too, Grace! I’m thrilled to be here.

Grace: Amazing! Before we get started, it would be great if you could share a little about yourself. Any hobbies, pets, or favorite musicians?

Katy: Sure! I’m based in the U.S., in Kansas City. For anyone familiar, it’s where the Kansas City Chiefs play, and of course, Travis Kelce dating Taylor Swift is a big deal here right now! I’m a mom to two little boys, who keep me busy. As for hobbies, I love true crime—books, podcasts, documentaries—and doing jigsaw puzzles. I also love spending time outdoors when I can. And, of course, I’m a dietitian by profession.

Grace: That sounds like fun! Do you have any favorite true crime podcasts to recommend?

Katy: Definitely! Two I listen to every week are My Favorite Murder and The First Degree.

Grace: Great suggestions for any true crime fans out there! I’ve never been big on true crime—I scare easily—but I’m intrigued now!

Katy: Yeah, it can get intense. Sometimes I need to take breaks when it gets too much, but I keep going back.

Grace: Totally understandable! So today, we’re talking about learning to trust and accept your body. I think it’s important to mention how body distrust shows up for people struggling with eating disorders or disordered eating. How do you see this in the clients you work with?

Katy: It shows up in so many ways. From a young age, we’re taught to distrust our bodies, but we actually come into the world with full trust in them. Babies cry when they’re hungry and stop eating when they’re full without judgment. Even toddlers know when they’re hungry or full, but over time, we’re taught to ignore those cues. Well-meaning adults might say things like, “Clean your plate if you want dessert,” or, “You can’t have a snack because dinner is soon.” These messages, though well-intentioned, teach us that our bodies’ signals are wrong, which can lead to disconnection.

As we get older, we’re bombarded by diet culture, which tells us how we should look and what we should or shouldn’t eat. By the time many clients come to me, they often say, “I don’t even know what normal eating is anymore.” They’re overwhelmed by rules and just want to stop thinking about food so much. That’s where the process of rebuilding trust begins.

Grace: I love that you brought it back to how we inherently trust our bodies when we’re born, and how the loss of that trust isn’t our fault. Recognizing it’s a product of our environment can really reduce the self-blame people feel.

Katy: Absolutely. Many people with eating disorders or disordered eating feel like it’s their fault. But no one signs up for this—it’s incredibly complex, influenced by our environment and many other factors. It’s not something anyone should be blamed for.

Grace: That’s so important. I actually had someone tell me recently that their mom said, “You chose to have an eating disorder.” It was heartbreaking.

Katy: That’s so painful, especially hearing it from a parent. To anyone listening: it’s not your fault. No one chooses this.

Grace: Yes, exactly. For people struggling with disordered eating and feeling scared to let go of the control they think they have, what steps do you recommend for starting the recovery process?

Katy: It’s definitely scary. As you said, what starts as control over food or weight often flips, and the disorder starts controlling you. Recovery is about taking back that power and reclaiming the right to nourish and enjoy your body and life.

One of the first steps I recommend is eating at consistent intervals throughout the day. I tell clients, “I don’t care what you eat, just make sure you’re eating regularly.” Start with breakfast, and then eat something every three to four hours—usually three meals and two or three snacks. This routine helps retrain the body and mind to get used to consistent nourishment. Many people with eating disorders also have digestive issues, which can get worse before they get better, but normal eating helps reset the system.

Grace: That’s a really concrete place to start. I think a lot of the fear around eating regularly comes from diet culture, which promotes the idea that eating less is better. Social media is full of “What I Eat in a Day” posts that show people eating way too little, and it scares people into thinking they’re eating too much when, in reality, they’re not eating enough.

Katy: Exactly. It’s easy to compare yourself to what you see online, but we don’t know if what they’re showing is real, or if it’s even meeting their body’s needs. That’s why I don’t post “What I Eat in a Day” content—it’s just not helpful.

Grace: Same here! Everyone’s needs are different, so there’s no point in comparing.

Katy: Exactly. What’s right for one person isn’t necessarily right for another.

Grace: You’ve mentioned that fear of eating regularly is a common barrier. What are some other fears people have when learning to accept their bodies?

Katy: It usually boils down to the fear of weight gain and losing control over food. Many people fear binging or overeating because they think it’ll lead to weight gain, which is stigmatized in our society.

Grace: How do you help people challenge those fears in a culture that’s so focused on thinness?

Katy: It’s hard, but I help clients recognize that every body has its own set point, which isn’t determined by a BMI chart or internet calculations. I like to use the example of a dog park—you wouldn’t expect all the dogs to look the same, right? Humans are the same. We have different shapes, heights, and sizes, and that’s normal.

I encourage people to get curious about where their body naturally wants to be when they’re eating intuitively, moving in ways that feel good, getting enough rest, and living fully. That’s the weight their body will naturally maintain without stress or control. It’s scary because I can’t predict exactly what that weight will be, but it’s about working through the emotions that come up during the process.

It’s hard, but I think being able to tolerate discomfort and work through fears is key to recovery for most people.

Grace: Absolutely. I love the analogy you’ve used with dogs, and we can extend it to flowers. You look at flowers, and you’re not mad at one for being taller than another—they’re all beautiful. Humans are just another part of nature, so it’s unrealistic to expect us all to look the same when no other part of nature does that.

Katy: Exactly, it’s a great analogy. It reminds me of something you may have seen online: if we all ate and exercised the same, we’d still weigh different amounts because our bodies are not robots—they’re living, breathing beings.

Grace: Yes! I also love the saying, “It’s not a dream body if it’s hell to maintain.” Like you said, your ideal weight comes when you’re living a balanced life, and your weight just finds its place.

For many people recovering from an eating disorder, intuitive eating is a goal. However, a lot of people try to do it while still trying to control their body, appearance, and hunger. Do you think body trust and acceptance are essential to intuitive eating?

Katy: Yes, I do. People often get tripped up because they approach intuitive eating, but their disorder still controls things. It’s like, “We’ll eat when we’re hungry and stop when we’re full, but oops, we’re never hungry.” That’s partly because the biology of the eating disorder messes with hunger signals and the body’s ability to connect with itself.

Other people think intuitive eating means just eating whatever, whenever. That’s not intuitive eating—that’s impulsive eating, which isn’t what we’re aiming for. Becoming intuitive with food is a gradual process. It’s not about flipping a switch to intuitive eating one day. It’s more robust than that. The first step is letting go of the diet mentality, weight loss as a goal, and the idea of good and bad foods.

So much of the process involves mental work—making peace with food. That’s why I start most of my clients with a consistent eating structure. It’s flexible but has enough intentionality to reconnect them with their bodies and help them recognize hunger and fullness. This helps build trust over time. Some might need a meal plan initially, to nourish their bodies, especially when the eating disorder has caused disconnection. Over time, we work on body trust and intuitive eating while laying the mental foundation from the start.

Grace: Yes, I think you’re so right that the mental side often gets overlooked. People focus more on physical results than how they feel about what they’re doing. But how you feel about it lays the groundwork for everything to come.

Katy: Exactly. If what you’re doing aligns with your true values—like recovering so you can go out to eat with friends, enjoy a vacation, or wear a swimsuit without stressing over calories—then recovering is part of that. It might be hard and uncomfortable, but keeping your values in mind helps.

Grace: Absolutely. One common fear about intuitive eating is losing control, feeling like you’ll never stop eating, and only wanting chocolate and cake. What would you say to someone struggling with that fear?

Katy: I’d tell them they need more permissiveness with food, not more restriction. I get how terrifying that is, but often, when someone fears that loss of control, some level of restriction is at play. It might be physical—literally not eating enough—or mental, where they judge food as good or bad or have rules they follow. Either way, it leads to feeling out of control around food.

So, it starts with making sure you’re eating enough and nourishing your body. From there, you can work on incorporating foods that make you nervous. I call those “charmed” foods—the ones you don’t trust yourself with. We “de-charm” them by eating them on purpose, leaning into the discomfort, and planning how to eat them without it turning into a binge.

Grace: I love that—eating with purpose brings self-empowerment, versus feeling like food is controlling you.

Katy: Exactly. Sneaking slivers of cake or brownies, trying not to really eat it, just makes it worse. By the time you’ve eaten 15 cookies, you should have just had one piece to begin with.

Grace: Exactly. You see this behavior a lot in diet culture, like someone at a birthday party saying, “I’ll just have a sliver.” But setting a good example, like sitting down and enjoying the cake, is what many people working towards intuitive eating aim for, especially parents who want to be a positive role model.

Katy: Yes, breaking those generational cycles is often a big motivator for parents. Hopefully, through more conversations like this, we can spread that mindset further.

Grace: For sure. Many eating disorders focus on weight control, so accepting your body involves letting go of that goal, which can be very uncomfortable. What advice do you have for people working on this?

Katy: First, have compassion for yourself and understand why you felt the need for control. For some, this involves body grief—denial, bargaining, anger, depression—and ultimately, acceptance. It’s not about liking or loving your body; you can accept something you don’t like. The goal isn’t to achieve a body you love but to treat yourself with kindness and respect, even on days when you wish your body looked different.

We can’t hate ourselves into loving our bodies. But we can learn to work with our bodies, rather than against them.

Grace: That’s such an important message. I think many fear that if they gain weight or their body changes, they won’t cope with it.

Katy: What’s ironic is that I see many clients are more critical of their bodies when their weight is lower than what’s natural for them. When they reach their body’s natural weight, they feel better, even if it’s higher than before. People don’t believe it until they experience it, but you feel better when you stop fixating on it.

I also want to mention that many people need to take a break from weighing themselves. For some, it’s permanent. Monitoring your weight can mess with your head, and letting go of the scale allows you to focus on reconnecting with your body.

Grace: Yes, letting go of weight focus is crucial. When you monitor it closely, every tiny change feels magnified. And like you said, avoiding body-checking behaviors—like grabbing at body parts or obsessively looking in mirrors—can help. When that’s hard, it’s important to come back to your values and your larger goals.

Katy: Exactly. It might help to write down your values, reasons for recovery, and reflect on how your life would change if you weren’t consumed by this. Keeping that in sight can be powerful when the process feels difficult.

Grace: Absolutely. I often recommend creating a “recovery doc”—a Google Doc or notebook where you list affirmations, your values, reasons for recovery, and inspiring quotes. It becomes a resource to go back to during tough moments.

I love that idea. I might steal it! It’s brilliant—having all your resources in one place.

Katy: Yes, and you can add thought exercises, too, like thought rewiring. Write down a thought, then reframe it. That way, you always have a tool to come back to.

Grace: Exactly. When you’re caught up in emotions, having something concrete to lean on is so helpful.

It’s been great talking to you today. Thank you so much for joining me!

Katy: Of course! We could have talked all day—there are so many layers to this.

Grace: Absolutely. Before you go, I’d love to ask: If people took only one thing away from today’s episode, what would you want it to be?

Katy: That it is possible to make peace with food and your body, even if it feels terrifying. It’ll likely be a slow process, but if you work to rebuild trust with your body and do the mental work, it is possible. Hope is an essential part of the equation.

Grace: That’s a beautiful message, and so important. A lot of people wonder if it’s even possible. But like you said, no one who recovers looks back and regrets it.

Katy: Exactly. I’ve never had a client wish they hadn’t recovered. They’re always glad they did. Recovery often brings personal growth, wisdom, and skills you wouldn’t have otherwise.

Grace: So true. Recovery offers a whole new perspective. Thank you again for joining me.

Katy: Of course!

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