For many people this week is spring break, a time to step back, get some fresh air, and recharge for the final push until summer arrives. I am not going anywhere for a vacation, but I did decide to take a couple of days off this week for myself.
Monday was awaited with much anticipation of how great it would feel to take a break. And at first, it did feel great. I slept in (if you can call 7:30am sleeping in) and had a leisurely morning, followed by a beautiful trail run, a short nap, and then the movie theater.
Sounds lovely, but I was ridden with anxiety all afternoon. What if somebody emailed me or left me an important voice message? What if I forgot to do something last week and now I'm even further behind? What if my clients go on spring break and decide they never want to see me again?
That's right, my name is Katy and I have relaxation anxiety. I've grown up in a world that taught me that work = good and breaks = lazy.
It took a lot of thought defusion (acknowledging and observing my thoughts without latching on to them) and self talk to move through this. And I'm glad I did because now I can see that the world did not fall apart without me at work yesterday. In fact, the break was a form of self care, something I preach to clients all the time. It allows me to feel balanced, refreshed, and ready to sit with my clients in the discomfort of their eating disorders.
If you haven't had a break lately, I encourage you to schedule one. It's good for the body, mind, and soul. Don't beat yourself up if it's hard or if you think about work all day. Acknowledge that this is what happens when we're programmed to work 24/7, and take your break anyway.
Caution: You just might enjoy it!