Intro: For many, alcohol is a part of our daily lives. Drinks after work, mimosas at brunch, maybe a glass of wine in the evening to help unwind after a long day. But that leaves a lot of questions, especially when you’re on an intuitive eating journey. How does alcohol fit in with your relationship with food and intuitive eating? Should you drink intuitively? Cut it out completely?
That’s where Casey Davidson, life and sobriety coach, and host of the Top 100 Mental Health podcast, The Hello Sunday Podcast for Sober Curious Women, comes in. I sat down with her on a recent episode of the podcast to talk more about why it’s important to be curious about your relationship with alcohol and choose compassionately on how to move forward on this personal decision.
Get Curious About Your Relationship with Alcohol
Many women have complicated relationships with alcohol. The way to untangle that relationship is to name why you want a drink. Are you bored, hungry, angry, lonely, overwhelmed, stressed? Was your boss a nightmare today? Your kid threw a tantrum at dinnertime? You haven’t had 10 minutes to yourself? Or maybe you just made it through the day and feel like you deserve it. Alcohol is the easy button, a way to solve these things, at least for a little while.
Be gentle with yourself in this process. This is a difficult and sometimes emotionally-complicated question to answer, so lead with kindness. Know this is data for you to help identify why you want to drink and how you can find ways to solve what’s bothering you. It also helps you find some clarity around what you want your life to look like, instead of just doing what everyone else expects.
Can I Intuitively Drink?
Intuitive eating is all about listening to your body and honoring its needs. Do the same rules apply to alcohol?
According to Casey, it’s very different from food because alcohol is both a depressant and a stimulant that hits your bloodstream quickly. It impacts your nervous system, your dopamine, and your body. Alcohol is also a common coping mechanism, making it hard to discern a craving and the need to self-soothe. This makes it difficult to intuitively drink the way that we intuitively eat.
If you’re interested in taking a break from alcohol, try taking 30 days off from it, or 100 if you’re up to it. Give yourself an opportunity to see how you feel when you don’t crave it.
Common Mistakes During a Alcohol Break
There are two common mistakes women make when considering a break from alcohol or moderating their drinking.
- Only drinking on the weekend.
- Limiting themselves to a certain number of drinks.
While these are good ideas in theory, the problem is that it is much harder to moderate your drinking instead of not drinking at all. Alcohol is an addictive substance and when you cut it off, your body goes into withdrawal. If you’re only drinking on the weekends or every two weeks, your body doesn’t have time to recover, meaning you’re constantly going through the craving and withdrawal cycle.
If you want to take a break from alcohol, consider taking a complete break from it for at least two weeks. That is enough time for your body to break the cycle, for you to get a baseline of what your body, mind, and emotions feel like, and you can evaluate where you want to go from there.
The Problem With Cutting Out Alcohol While Dieting
Another big mistake is attempting to combine a period of time without alcohol with any kind of weight loss, food restriction, or diet. Why? Hunger is a huge trigger for many to drink, and cutting out food may make restricting a highly addictive substance more difficult.
Instead, don’t restrict your diet. Set an alarm for 3:30 or 4 p.m., and have a protein snack so you’re not starving going into the witching hour or while you’re cooking dinner. Having something before the time you would normally drink can soften the hunger trigger.
Alcohol is a lot of sugar and spikes your dopamine the same way that sugar does. Taking away both the brownie and your nightly glass of red wine may be too stressful on your body, so limit one thing at a time and be kind to yourself.
Next Steps for the Sober Curious
If you’re sober curious, try a period of time without alcohol. 30 days is a great break and it’s common, so you aren’t alone. Here’s a few things you can do make that time period a success:
- Tell people. Tell everyone that you need that accountability. You don’t have to share why if you don’t want to — “I’m taking a break from alcohol because I want to have more energy” is more than enough.
- Prepare. Stock up on non-alcoholic beverages, and not just tea, sparkling water, and hot chocolate. Pick up some non-alcoholic beers (Guinness and Corona both have options), non-alcoholic wines, or cocktails — whatever you like.
- Clear your alcoholic beverage of choice out of the house. Removing your beverage of choice from the house will make it easier to stay on track.
- Get support. Ask your partner to try a coffee shop instead of the wine bar for date night, find a sober-curious community, and listen to supportive podcasts.
Key Takeaways
There is no right or wrong answer to whether you want to keep drinking or not. It is an intensely personal decision and different for everyone. I am not here advocating for sobriety, but for you to feel curious about where you are at with alcohol, and choosing with compassion how you want to move forward.
Listening to your body and being curious about how alcohol makes you feel — both in the moment and afterwards — can help you find clarity about your life, your needs, and how the people who love you can support you.
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