Have you ever had a moment where your gut says one thing, but your brain immediately jumps in with worst-case scenarios and what-ifs? If so, you’re in good company.
Many people (especially women) struggle with trusting their inner voice. Whether it’s decisions about food, your body, parenting, your career, or relationships, that constant second-guessing can become exhausting.
In a recent episode of Rebuilding Trust With Your Body, I sat down with Aly Breathe, a mindset and self-trust coach who helps women stop second-guessing themselves and lead with confidence.
After moving to Canada alone at 22 and rebuilding her life from the ground up, Aly learned firsthand that self-trust isn’t something we’re born with; it’s something we build.
This conversation is full of practical tools, deep mindset shifts, and relatable moments that will help you understand where self-doubt comes from and how to reconnect with the calm, wise part of yourself that already knows what you need.
Why Self-Doubt Shows Up (Even When You “Know Better”)
Aly describes every person as an ocean: vast, layered, and full of depth. But many of us have invisible “nets” underneath the surface. These are beliefs like, “I’m not enough,” “I’m not disciplined,” “My body is wrong,” or “I can’t trust myself with food.”
These nets trap your potential, making it harder to access the confidence, clarity, and emotional stability that already exists within you.
Self-doubt often shows up in two ways:
- The loud, obvious kind. This type is easy to spot. It shows up as “I don’t know what to do,” “What if I make the wrong choice?”, “I need someone to tell me I’m doing this right.”
- The sneaky, “rational” kind. This one trips people up the most. It’s subtle and sounds reasonable. “I should wait until I have more information,” “What if I’m missing something?”, “Let me think it through again just to be sure.
This version feels like caution, but often, it’s actually fear wearing a convincing disguise.
Aly emphasizes that the difference isn’t the words themselves; it’s the energy behind them. Self-trust speaks from calm. Self-doubt speaks from anxiety, shame, or fear.
How Life Experiences Shape Your Self-Trust
Aly’s story is a powerful reminder that self-trust grows through experience, not perfection.
When she moved to Canada at 22, she didn’t have a plan, connections, or a safety net. Within days of arriving, she faced airport issues, lost half her savings, and then was laid off a month later.
She describes it as “terrifying,” but also the very moment she realized she could trust herself to figure things out.
That experience shaped a truth she now teaches her clients: Self-trust is built one decision at a time. Not when everything is going right, but when things feel uncertain.
Aly said something that stuck with me: “Every time something hard happens, it’s like asking ‘Do you really trust yourself?’”
And isn’t that true for so many of us?
Whether it’s a layoff, a health scare, a big decision, or simply navigating daily life, each challenge becomes an invitation to deepen your confidence.
The Difference Between Healthy Caution and Self-Doubt
One of the biggest questions women ask is “How do I know when I’m listening to intuition versus anxiety?”
Aly breaks it down this way: Healthy caution is grounded, loving, and based on awareness.
It sounds like:
- “I want to read this nutrition label because I care about my body.”
- “I want to think this through so I can make a thoughtful choice.”
Self-doubt, on the other hand, shows up like:
- “I shouldn’t eat that. I’ll gain weight.”
- “I’m probably doing everything wrong.”
- “I can’t trust myself unless someone approves this.”
The key difference? Healthy caution supports you while self-doubt limits you.
Why So Many Women Don’t Trust Themselves (Especially Around Food)
At this point in our conversation, I connected what Aly was saying to something I see every day in my intuitive eating work: Diet culture erodes self-trust.
It teaches you that:
- Hunger can’t be trusted
- Your cravings are wrong
- Your body is the problem
- Someone else knows better
- You should feel shame for wanting what you want
No wonder so many of us feel torn between what we want to eat and what we think we should eat.
Diet culture creates a tug-of-war in your mind. That tug-of-war becomes the breeding ground for self-doubt in every area of life. But the truth is this: You can’t build self-trust while following rules that separate you from your body.
Letting go of diet culture – or loosening its grip – is often a huge first step in rebuilding self-confidence.
Why You Don’t Need to “Fake It Till You Make It”
You’ve probably heard this cliché of just fake confidence until it becomes real.
Aly strongly disagrees. She believes confidence comes from alignment, not performance. When your actions match your values (not fear or external expectations) confidence naturally follows.
In other words, confidence isn’t pretending. It’s remembering who you are.
You don’t need to put on a brave face, earn worthiness, or wait until you feel “ready.”
Self-trust grows through small, quiet steps taken from a place of self-respect.
A Daily Journaling Practice to Strengthen Self-Trust
Aly has a signature journaling practice that she uses every day. This was one of my favorite parts of the conversation because it’s such a simple but powerful tool.
In the morning, she uses a two-pen method (a black pen for fears, negative thoughts, anxiety, or doubt, and a blue pen for wisdom, clarity, and the voice of her “wise self”). She asks questions like:
- “What would love say right now?”
- “What advice would I give a friend?”
- “What do I know deep down?”
This practice helps separate the voice of fear from the voice of truth.
Then, every night, she writes:
- One win
- One thing she’s grateful for
- One lesson from the day
This trains your brain to look for progress and reinforces the belief that you can trust yourself.
Surrounding Yourself With the Right People Matters
One thing Aly emphasized that many women overlook is environment. When she was laid off recently, she handled it much differently because she had support:
- Her mom reminding her of her strength
- Friends reflecting her potential
- A community that believed in her
Self-trust flourishes in supportive environments and shrivels in judgmental ones.
If you’re surrounded by people who question your body, your decisions, or your dreams, of course self-doubt grows louder.
Surrounding yourself with people who see you clearly is one of the most underrated tools for building confidence.
Self-Trust Doesn’t Mean Always Knowing the Right Answer
One of the biggest misconceptions is that trusting yourself means being certain, but Aly believes the opposite:
Self-trust is the belief that you’ll figure it out, even if you don’t know everything right now.
You can take a leap without a perfect plan, make decisions without overthinking, and move forward without guaranteeing the outcome.
This is emotional freedom. It’s also where confidence comes from.
Small Daily Practices to Build Self-Trust
Here are some of Aly’s favorite ways to strengthen self-trust in your daily life:
- Notice the “nets.” What beliefs keep you feeling small? Maybe it’s “I’ll be confident when I lose weight”, “I shouldn’t eat that”, or “I always make the wrong decisions.” Awareness is the first step.
- Check the energy behind your choices. Are you acting from self-love or self-doubt?
- Let your body speak. Trusting your body helps you trust yourself, so eat when you’re hungry, rest when you’re tired. Choose foods you genuinely want and check in with your cues, not rules.
- Use the two-pen journaling practice. It gives your inner wisdom a clear voice.
- Celebrate tiny wins. Your brain needs evidence that you’re trustworthy.
Becoming the Version of Yourself You’re Meant to Be
This conversation ended with a beautiful reminder: “Over time, you start to become the version of yourself you’ve been trying to reach.”
Not through force, willpower, dieting, shrinking, or hustling, but through clarity, compassion, and consistent self-support.
Self-trust is not a destination — it’s a relationship, one you nurture day by day.
Key Takeaways
Remember, self-doubt is learned – often through shame, fear, or diet culture – but self-trust is built, one decision at a time. The difference between the two? The energy behind your decisions. You don’t have to have everything figured out to trust yourself. You are capable, you are wise, and you can absolutely learn to trust yourself again.
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Search for Ep.210 (Transcript): From Self-Doubt to Self-Trust: Rebuilding Confidence with Aly Breathe
Looking for more support on your journey to food freedom and body acceptance?
– Check out my course, Non-Diet Academy
– Join my Facebook group & community “Intuitive Eating Made Easy”
– Take my FREE quiz “What’s Your Unique Path to Food Freedom?”
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