I'm a Certified Eating Disorders Registered Dietitian (CEDRD) with a master’s degree in dietetics and nutrition. My passion is helping you find peace with food - and within yourself.
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October 2, 2017
I just finished reading Brave Girl Eating by Harriet Brown, and I can’t stop thinking about it. This was such a powerful tale of how one family stood toe-to-toe with their daughter’s eating disorder, and how hard it was.
What was so encouraging, though, was that they figured it out. They came up with ways that worked for them to handle the many many challenges – from getting in 3000+ calories per day, to managing meltdowns and anger outbursts, to going to therapy and doctor’s visits, to having to keep adjusting the target weight range up due to growth spurts along the way, to navigating school and social challenges, and even relapse. It’s no small feat.
I’m acutely aware of how hard this is on families, and also what a key role they play. We need to do a better job educating parents, empowering them, and supporting them along the way.
In the book, Brown highlights the treatment approach they used – FBT (Family Based Treatment), which puts parents behind the steering wheel of managing their child’s eating until the child is back to health. When you think about it, it makes total sense. If the child had any other illness the parents would be in charge of administering the medicine, changing the bandages, or whatever other treatment was required.
It’s a balancing act though. Because kids, especially teenagers, are perpetually wanting more independence from their parents, not less. And in that first phase of treatment, we are arguably treating the child like a toddler when it comes to food. So of course the person with the eating disorder isn’t going to like this – on multiple levels – their independence and autonomy, as well as the eating disorder itself will be screaming in their ear not to eat the food or trust their parents.
Yet, I have seen time and time again, deep inside the child often feels safe knowing that their parents are in charge and aren’t going to let them die from this illness. That they are being taken care of, even if they don’t like it.
Here are just a few of the things families can do to help their child recover:
This list could go on and on, but it’s a good start. I know families often feel scared, helpless and confused. So having some guidance and tangible things to do is often helpful.
It’s also important that family members, especially parents, are getting their own emotional support. It’s common for the parents of my clients to see their own therapist, and for them to attend a parent support group. Luckily, there’s a great one here in Kansas City (email me for the info!). If there isn’t one in your area, you could ask your treatment team to help you start one. They may even be willing to host it at their offices.
Above all, remember that full recovery absolutely IS possible. There is always hope, no matter how long you or your child has struggled, and no matter how bad things may seem right now. It can be done – don’t give up.
I'm a Certified Eating Disorders Registered Dietitian (CEDRD) with a master’s degree in dietetics and nutrition. My passion is helping you find peace with food - and within yourself.
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food & drink
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