Recovery is about finding your own truth. What is true for others may not be true to you. And that's ok.
You get to decide what your recovery looks like. You get to decide how you define health and what it looks like for you to have balance and peace with food.
This can be empowering and terrifying. Your truth might change over time. You can only do the best you can with the information and circumstances you have in each moment. I believe that this is what each of us does (although I frequently have to remind myself of this when I get frustrated or resentful towards others).
Sometimes you will need to ask yourself some hard questions:
What does it look like if I'm making recovery a priority? What about when the ED is in charge?
What does "healthy eating" mean to me? Do I need to redefine health in the context of recovery?
Am I holding on to any ED beliefs or rules?
What aspects of recovery am I avoiding?
Are there areas of my life in which I need to be more vulnerable?
There's a lot of noise out there that will distract you from your truth. The overpowering cultural belief is that thin is good, and fat is bad. And that fruits, vegetables and lean protein are good, and foods high in fat, carbs and calories are bad. Doctors might tell you that you need to be at a certain BMI to be healthy without factoring in anything else. The eating disorder will capitalize on all of this.
Therefore, you will need support along the way. Receiving feedback and guidance from people you trust will help you find your way. This may be from a therapist, pastor, friend, or family member. Create a support network to help you heal. Your tribe will guide you toward your truth.
At the end of the day your truth isn't about being right or wrong. In fact, there's no such thing when it comes to recovery. What's healing for one person may be destructive for another. As long as you are being attuned and honest with yourself you will find your way. And remember that life is what happens on the journey, not the destination.