Let’s talk about the most common thing clients say to me: “I want to stop dieting… but I also want to lose weight.”

If you’ve ever had that thought, you are definitely not the only one, and I know it feels kind of taboo to talk about this in the IE space sometimes. 

You know what? I GET IT. Of course you want to lose weight. That’s what we’ve been told is the ticket to health, confidence, success, and feeling good in your skin.

• I’m not here to talk you out of that desire or to pretend it’s not there.
• What I am going to do today is walk you through what I actually say to my clients when this comes up.
• We’re going behind the scenes of those real conversations. The ones that are messy and nuanced – the ones where my clients say, “Yeah, Katy, BUT…”. 

I know that some dietitians will turn clients away when they come to them saying I want to eat intuitively, but I still want weight loss. They’ll say, “I don’t do weight loss.” (Full disclosure, I used to say that to people – but I don’t anymore, because there is so much that we can still dig in and do to help people figure out what weight IS right for their body.)…

I’m actually going to share 2 powerful case studies with you today, because IDK about you, but I LOVE a full-on BTS when someone shares case studies about what they do with clients. I’m so nosey, and i want to know what other people are talking about in sessions with clients – whether it be fellow dietitians or coaches, and if it’s on the client side i like to hear what people are talking about with their practitioners and coaches. 

Before we dive into our main topic for today, you know what time it is…We’ve got some Wellness Woo to talk about. 

Wellness Woo is the stuff that diet and wellness culture tells us we should do in the name of health, but it’s really based on pseudoscience, exaggerated claims, or just nonsense. 

Today’s Wellness Woo is: David bars

Tag line on website: More protein and fewer calories help you increase muscle and decrease body fat. The optimal protein for your optimal form. – clearly this is about appearance, not health, and that less fat = more “optimal”

If you go to their About page they say “Build strength, lose weight, be beautiful.” (BARF)

“Designed for the human body” (so is all food?)

The most effective portable protein on this planet.

(Interestingly in addition to protein bars, you can also buy cod from their website…Lol)

So what’s the scoop with these David bars?

The founders are 2 guys named Zach Ranen, who started out as an investor (so his main goal is money) and Peter Rahal who is very pro-Paleo and says his mission in life is to help people have as little body fat as possible and for them to minimize calories and sugar. (It sounds SO disordered to me)

“Our brand takes the name of Michelangelo’s masterpiece. It is a reflection of our methodical approach to idealism, and our dedication to materializing perfection.”

Chief Science Officer is Dr. Peter Attia, a well known biohacker dude. He goes on to talk about “the binding system” – which is the emulsifiers in the bar, which are sugar alcohols, and normally wellness culture says are bad, so in order to justify them, he talks about how these are prebiotics so therefore they’re healthy for you. (Side note – you know what happens when you eat too many sugar alcohols?)

Then justifies the “modified plant fat” called EPG (esterified propoxylated glycerol – which is fake fat, kind of like artifical sweeteners, this is artificial fat) along with small amounts of traditional fats like coconut oil, cocoa butter, and palm kernel oil to achieve the mouthfeel and texture of fat without the typical caloric load

Basically these bars are being marketed as a wellness product – while containing a bunch of the things that wellness culture takes a stand against…and it’s very clear that this isn’t about wellness, it’s about fatphobia. 

If you have an example of Wellness Woo that you want to share, send it to me at rebuildingtrustwithyourbody@gmail.com. 

Ok, that’s enough of that. Moving on to today’s main topic…What I Say to a Client Who Wants to Eat Intuitively (But Also Wants to Lose Weight)

This Is a Totally Normal Starting Point

• Here’s what it sounds like in a client session:
  
  • “I’m tired of tracking everything, but I still want to feel better in my body.”
  • “I’m doing intuitive eating…but I still secretly hope I’ll lose weight.”
    
• My behind-the-scenes response:
  • This comes up with almost every client. And I get it. It makes total sense that this is where your mind goes. It’s what we’ve been taught to believe about bodies and health.
  • I take the approach of curiosity, and I ask them why they want to lose weight, and how much they think they should weigh, or what they want to weigh. The way they answer these questions tells me a LOT. I want to understand how much of it is about how they feel in/about their body vs health or other things…and if it’s health, are there specific health concerns/diagnoses? Or a fear of certain health things? 
  • Then we will dig into LOTS of exploration about what their past experiences have been like with dieting, weight, health, and where their weight is at now in relation to where it’s been in the past. 
  • I can usually get a fairly quick read on where they are at in relation to their set point weight from this discussion – but not always. We HAVE TO GET CURIOUS.
  • I won’t ever promise someone weight loss. I don’t have that crystal ball. But what I will promise is that I am going to give you the skills, tools, frameworks, and strategies to work WITH your body, to heal your metabolism, and to help your body find it’s current set point weight – without dieting, and without disordered eating. You 100% can have peace and freedom with food, and go on vacation and enjoy all the ice cream and local cuisine and cocktails…and you can 100% go out for Mexican food with your girlfriends without overeating and feeling bloated afterwords…and you can 100% see your labs improve (your TC, A1c) while still eating things like Oreos and Cheetos. And it’s when I can get you curious and excited about that that we are now in the zone to do the actual work.  

CASE STUDY #1: (JuWi)

(Don’t say this part aloud – Grieving Thinness as a Shortcut to Worth)

• Share Danielle’s story (anonymized):
  
  • Was a pretty intuitive eater until after she did her first diet leading up to her wedding, lost some weight, then proceeded to regain it all plus some in her first few years of marriage. 
  • Dabbled a bit with “eating intuitively” on her own, but was secretly hoping it would lead to weight loss
  • When her weight didn’t change, she panicked and went back to dieting – lost some weight, regained it, ended up at her highest weight ever, and eventually came back to IE and that’s when she found me
    
• What you told her:
  
  • Wanting weight loss isn’t the problem—it’s that our culture taught you to believe thinness is the ONLY way to feel good in your body.
  • If you end up losing weight as a result of healing your relationship with food, that’s FINE, but we want to get you to where your inner peace and sense of self-worth isn’t contingent upon you losing weight – and she really got this.
    
• Her breakthrough:
  
  • We started applying the 10 principles of intuitive eating – and it started with rejecting the diet mentality.
    • When she stopped trying to manipulate her weight, she finally started living. She started saying yes to things she’d put off for years – the family photos, vacations, wearing shorts in the summer, getting in the pool, even movement which she had always hated b/c it was associated w/ dieting. She started to discover movement that she actually enjoyed, and felt strong and empowered when she did it.
    • It was via putting together those pieces of the puzzle with those principles of IE that it started to click for her. She mentally made peace with food, learned how to listen to (and trust!) her body, and to implement gentle nutrition. She had PCOS, so we used some GN strategies to help with blood sugar and insulin resistance. And of course, like I mentioned earlier, exercise. 
  • When all of these came together she realized that she could honor her health, without obsessing about her weight, and that she could feel that sense of confidence and connectedness in her life that she was yearning for. And what felt SO GOOD to her was knowing that she was breaking the generational cycle of dieting in her family so she wouldn’t pass it down to her daughters. 

Exploring the Fantasy of Weight Loss

Invite curiosity:

• What do you hope weight loss will give you?
  • Is it confidence? Freedom? Feeling at home in your body? Is it health? Is it being treated a certain way?
    • Weight stigma is VERY real – 40% of US adults across a wide range of body sizes report weight-based bullying, teasing and discrimination. Some of the worst offenders are healthcare professionals. 
    • Weight stigma and anti-fat bias are baked into our society – chairs in waiting rooms, seats at sporting events and concerts, gown sizes at medical appointments, airplane seats, clothing sizes at stores, the way larger bodies are presented in the media
    • Elephant in the room – I have thin privilege
  • It makes sense that you yearn for what you think weight loss would give you. We’ve been sold this fairytale fantasy – AND the world around us reinforces it.
    • When people talk about their wt loss on line – accolades
    • Constant equating of health = weight loss/thinness
    • The idea that we’ll be happier, healthier, more successful, more lovable at a lower weight – regardless of what it takes to get there. 
    • If your “dream body” is a nightmare to maintain, then that might not be what’s actually healthy for you
• Come back to case study #1 and how she found these things without losing weight. It was when she started DOING things like being in photos, showing up at get togethers rather than hiding at home, going to the neighborhood pool and getting in with her kids and chatting with the other moms – that was how she developed the confidence and sense of connection and belonging she’d been yearning for. And with raising 2 daughters, she now feels so strongly about being a good role model for them…
  • The clients in my Non-Diet Academy alumni program, sometimes talk about doing things fat – going on the cruise, going kayaking, getting a massage…all the things that you might be avoiding because you’ve told yourself you’ll do it when you lose weight. What if you do those things NOW?
    • If there are things that aren’t accessible to your here-and-now body, that’s another example of needing to grieve. (kayaking, horseback riding, rollercoasters) – doesn’t mean your body is the problem
    • What CAN you do? What is it about kayaking you’d enjoy? What about going swimming? Or on a boat ride? If it’s horseback riding, what about being involved in caring for horses?

CASE STUDY #2: (JeEl)

Case Study #2: Megan – (Don’t say this out loud – Health Scare + Panic to Lose Weight)

• Megan had a health scare. Her doctor told her to lose weight “for her health” after her cholesterol came back a little high, so she set out to lose some weight, and was trying to follow a plant-based diet because she was so freaked out about her risk of heart disease.
• She came to my wanting to address her binge eating that had really ramped up as she was trying to follow the plant-based diet, and she was so scared about her health and was frustrated that despite her efforts to lose weight, she kept gaining.
• Behind the scenes:
  
  • I didn’t shut her down. I said, ‘Let’s talk about what health actually means and how we can support your body, regardless of what your weight does.’ 
  • She worked in the medical field, so we leveraged her knowledge of how the body works to help her see that health is different from the number on the scale – and that the behaviors she was doing weren’t actually healthy.
    
• Her turning point:
  
  • Started focusing on how she felt…more energy, clearer hunger/fullness, less anxiety around food, “nutrition by addition”, combining carb, protein and fat together, and finding realistic ways to fit exercise into her super busy schedule in ways that she enjoyed, without making it about burning calories and losing weight.  
  • Surprise: Her labs improved. Her weight stayed the same. Her health still got better.
    • I also had a client a couple of months ago who told me that her labs look the best they ever have, and that’s with weight gain. (Now, of course this isn’t true for everyone – but I want you to hear that it’s not always going to be this direct cause/effect with your weight and your health – it’s SO MUCH MORE COMPLICATED than that).
  • Lottery analogy
  • We’re going to talk in just a second about what the research actually says about health and weight – so hang with me, but first I just have to say this:
  • It’s when you stop clinging onto the false hope that you’re going to win the dieting lottery that you can lean into those principles of intuitive eating that I was talking about earlier (and if you don’t know what I’m talking about, it’s the 10 principles of IE, from the book IE…)
    • If you can’t name at least 5 out of the 10 principles, then you’re probably not actually doing IE the way it’s intended. A lot of people think that they’re doing IE because they’re no longer dieting – and that’s not how it works. IE is an evidence-based framework, meaning that it has research behind it – but you have to do the actual steps involved, and it’s more than just hunger/fullness or eating whatever you want (that’s not IE, it’s impulsive eating). 
    • If you’re hearing this and you’re thinking, “Well, crap, I’m not sure I’m doing this right” or you are fuzzy on the 10 principles since it’s been a while since you read the book or cracked open the workbook, I invite you to join me in August for my program IEE, where we’ll go through the workbook together and not just discuss the principles but put them into ACTION.
      • It’s one thing to have the head knowledge, but what I emphasize with all of my clients is taking action and experimenting with things. You’ve got to have both the behavior changes AND the mindset shifts in order for this to work, and that’s exactly what we do together inside IEE.
      • By the end of this program you’ll be putting together all 10 principles of IEE like a jigsaw puzzle to see how they work synergistically together. 
      • By putting ALL 10 principles in place, not just some of them, that’s how your body is going to settle into its set point weight at this phase of your life. 

The Truth About Health and Weight

• We’ve been told XYZ
• But the research actually shows:
  • BMI – “overweight” lives longest
  • Weight cycling correlates w/ CVD and early death
• Health isn’t a number on the scale
  • It’s how your internal organs are working
  • It’s about incorporating health-promoting behaviors – without rigidity
  • SDOH
    • 40% socioeconomic factors (education, job status, family/social support, income, community safety)
    • 10% physical environment
    • 30% individual behaviors (tobacco use, ETOH, exercise, nutrition, sexual activity)
    • 20% access to healthcare
  • Remember the lottery analogy?

• I know that you hear all of this and you intellectually “get it.” (And sure, there might be part of you that still doesn’t totally believe it…) 
• AND you still want weight loss. THAT’S BECAUSE THIS IS SO DEEPLY INGRAINED IN US. I’ve had a lot of clients say to me when they’re further down the road that looking back, if they’re being deeply honest with themselves, that it wasn’t about health…
• Come back to case example #2 and how we improved her health w/o focusing on weight loss. 
• And remember that we all have a “set point” that our bodies want to weigh when we aren’t restricting or doing dieting behaviors.
  • Figuring out how to work WITH your body, rather than against it, is how your body will find and maintain its set point weight. 
  • Before that can happen, we’ve got to get you off the dieting rollercoaster, have you step away from the restricting, tracking your food, obsessing over calories and macros, and all the other stuff that’s making you feel crazy around food and with your body. 
  • I know it feels very counter-intuitive, but letting go of your attempt at control is what is going to allow your weight to find its way to where it needs to be. That doesn’t mean you should go have a free-for-all with food – which is what a lot of people do with IE. It means that you should go figure out how to do IE the way it’s intended to be done, and then we get to see how your body responds as your metabolism comes up out of the gutter, and your cravings and compulsions for overeating diminish, and you can eat normally and intuitively – while also being intentional about your nutrition and your health. That’s how your body will find its set point weight, and you won’t have to spend the rest of your life being afraid to eat bananas. THAT’S what I help my clients to see when they come to me wanting to make peace with food while weight loss is still on their mind. 

Wrapping Up

I hope that you’ll consider joining us inside IEE. Even if you’ve done it before…

That’s where you’re going to get that direct access to my guidance and feedback, so that you can experience the peace with food and the improvements in your health that my clients we talked about today have experienced. That’s what’s possible for you, too. It’s ok if you’re still feeling like you want and need to lose weight. That doesn’t mean you have to ditch IE, or that I’m not willing to help you. I’m still not going to put you on a diet. But I will help you to get your body working the best that it can, while making peace with food, and giving you your mental space and energy back so that you can go out and live your life to the fullest – without weight and body image being the thing that’s holding you back anymore. 

Reach out or go to nondietacademy.com/explore to grab your spot in IEE. If you’re listening to this in the future after that program has started, or you want to explore other coaching options, my DMs and email inbox are always open, just reach out. 

In case nobody has told you today – you are worthy just as you are. We’ll talk again soon.

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