If I had a dollar for every time someone came to me with a “weight problem” or an “emotional eating problem” or a “food addiction problem,” I’d own my own private island by now (j/k…) You get what I’m saying though, that people frequently blame food and weight as their “problem” to be solved.
But what if we were to redefine the problem?
Is it possible that the problem is that you feel inadequate at your core?
And that you are using food (and control over food) to cope with your emotions.
No one has ever tried more diligently to solve a problem than the chronic dieter...
...The way you've been told to deal with your problem - through control - puts you face-to-face with an impossible dilemma. You have been told not to do exactly what you need to do.
-- Jane Hirschmann and Carol Munter, Overcoming Overeating
You've been repeatedly told not to trust your body, not to trust your appetite, not to trust your emotions, not to trust your needs.
- Every time your doctor tells you you’re “overweight,” you learn that your body and appetite can’t be trusted - that they are “too much.”
- Every time you buy a “lite” or “diet” food, or order a salad instead of the burger or pasta you really wanted, you are telling yourself that your appetite can’t be trusted because it would lead you to eat “too many” calories.
- Every time someone tells you, or you tell yourself to “get over it” when something upsets you, you’re reinforcing that your emotions are not to be trusted.
- Every time you feel guilty for not being productive enough, or for being “lazy,” you are disowning your need for rest or downtime.
- Healing will happen when you learn to trust your appetite, and when you learn to trust that your emotions and needs are valid and deserve to be met.
The problem isn’t your weight. The problem isn’t the food.
The problem is that you don’t feel good enough. The problem is that you don’t trust yourself or your body. Let’s work on solving that.