You swore you were done with diets, you’re all-in on this intuitive eating thing…and suddenly, you find yourself halfway through a bag of chips at 9 pm, wondering what the heck is wrong with you. The next morning, you’re looking up how to “detox,” throwing all the “bad” food away, and promising yourself you’ll be better next time.

If this is you, let’s just pause for a second. The problem isn’t you “failed” at intuitive eating or that you can’t be trusted with food. It’s that you still don’t have peace with food for one major reason: you’re still thinking like a dieter. Let’s dig into what might be going on and my three-step process to finally break free of diet thoughts. 

Are you still thinking like a dieter (even if you’re not on a diet?) 

You’re not on a diet, counting points, or following a meal plan. You deleted the tracking app and you’re doing “intuitive eating”…at least technically. 

But if you zoom out for a second, the way you’re thinking about food still has diet culture written all over it. 

• You’re still labeling certain foods as “good” or “bad.”
• You feel guilty after eating something “too processed” or “too much.”
• You’re second-guessing yourself constantly, wondering if you ate too much, if you were hungry or just bored, or if you should skip dinner because you had a big lunch.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not following rules anymore…but you’re still being ruled by them. 

Wait! How can I think like a dieter when I’m not dieting?

Because even if your behaviors look different on the outside, your thoughts still feel like a food police siren is going off in your head. And that siren triggers guilt, fuels shame, and makes you overthink every food decision. That is what drives the exact behavior you’re trying to avoid: feeling chaotic, reactive, and disconnected from your body. 

In other words, thinking like a dieter has trained your brain to not care whether the restriction is physical or mental. It just knows when food doesn’t feel safe…and it responds accordingly. So if you’re wondering why you still feel out of control around food, it’s not because you’re failing at intuitive eating…it’s because you haven’t fully unlearned the mindset that taught you control equals safety.

This is totally normal. But it is important to name this part of the process because as long as that diet voice is whispering in the background, you’ll keep second-guessing, restricting, and rebounding…even if you never touch another diet again. 

Why thinking like a dieter makes you feel out of control 

Thinking like a dieter might not seem like a big deal on the surface, but here’s the thing: it makes you feel out of control around food. Meaning that binge isn’t because you’re “bad” or “undisciplined” or “failing at intuitive eating.” It’s because you’re reacting to deprivation, even if the deprivation is only happening in your thoughts. 

Your brain is smart. Its job is to protect you, so when it senses that food might be limited – either because you might restrict it later or because you feel guilty now – it goes into survival mode. That looks like: 

• That panicked urge to eat the whole bag now
• That “I already messed up, might as well keep going” spiral 
• That weird sense of “I need to get this in before I take it away again” urgency 

It’s not because you don’t have willpower. It’s your nervous system doing its job in the presence of perceived scarcity. 

Here’s where it can get even sneakier: even though you’re technically eating what you want, it’s not happening in a space of permission, but in one of shame and hesitation. For example, you can be eating a cookie while still feeling bad about it. And that guilt alone is enough to trigger the same survival response as if you’d actually restricted the cookie. Oof. 

Why is this happening? Because you haven’t retrained your brain to believe that food is safe, allowed, and doesn’t need to be earned or compensated for. Until you address the mental and emotional residue of dieting (not just the food rules, but the storylines), that out-of-control feeling will keep coming back.

The solution? Self-permission.  

It’s time to (truly) give yourself real permission

One of the biggest traps I see, especially for people who think they’re practicing intuitive eating but still feel like food has power over them, is this: 

You’re giving yourself performative permission, not real permission.

What’s the difference? Performative permission is like trying to trick yourself into food freedom, but your body is too smart for that. It looks something like this: 

• “I’ll let myself eat this cookie… but I better stop at one.”
• “I’m not restricting… but I should definitely eat cleaner tomorrow.”
• “I’m allowed to eat anything… but this still feels like cheating.”

On the other hand, real permission is more like: 

• “I can eat this cookie now. I can eat another one later. I can also not eat it. It’s my choice.”
• “Food is food. I don’t have to justify it, earn it, or explain it away.”
• “This isn’t a test. I don’t need to pass or fail. I just need to listen.”

Performative permission says you’re allowed to eat, but it’s still wrapped in fear, conditions, and an invisible leash…and that leash? It’s why it still feels like food is still pulling you around. 

You can’t heal your relationship with food while you’re still judging yourself for what you eat or mentally micromanaging every bite. 

Real permission is hard

I won’t beat around the bush: giving yourself real permission is messy and uncomfortable…but it’s also the only path to peace. Because the moment you truly believe you can have the cookie anytime (no rules, no “earning”, no pressure) is the moment the cookie stops screaming your name. 

The 3-step process to true food freedom

Being aware that you’re in “I feel out of control” mode around food is a good first step…but it’s not enough to shift into real food freedom. You have to retrain your brain to stop treating food like a threat. 

Step 1: Spot the rules (even the sneaky ones). Grab a pen or open a new note on your phone, and brain dump all the food rules you’re still carrying around. Go beyond the obvious “Don’t eat after 8 pm” ones to find the sneaky voices that are masking themselves as “facts,” like: 

• “I shouldn’t eat carbs without protein.”
• “I already had dessert once today, I can’t have it again.”
• “If I skip breakfast, maybe I’ll be hungrier for dinner.”
• “I should be eating more vegetables.”

Step 2: Choose one “trigger” food to practice real permission with. Pick a food that you feel chaotic or guilty around, and intentionally give yourself permission to eat it without any strings. This is how you start showing your body that there is no food emergency. Once it believes you, it’ll stop acting like there is. 

Step 3: Ask yourself this question: “What do I think ‘control’ with food will give me? And what am I afraid will happen if I let it go?” (Write this one down!) Often, our obsession with control is really about trying to feel safe, loved, or accepted, but here’s the truth: food control can’t give you that. It just keeps you stuck in a cycle of fear, shame, and confusion. Real peace come from permission, not perfection. 

Key Takeaways

So if you’re thinking, “Okay, this makes sense… but I still don’t trust myself to actually do it without spiraling,” — that’s exactly why I created my $7 audio mini-course, Permission to Eat. It’s the bridge between knowing you want food freedom… and actually experiencing it.

Over 7 days, you’ll get a powerful daily 8-10 minute-long lesson that walks you through how to go from feeling scared to let yourself eat, feeling distrusting of your body, or that performative permission thing where you’re technically letting yourself eat the foods like cookies, but you’re still feeling guilty about it. 

We’re going to dig into all of that to create REAL permission and freedom for you with food and we’ll tackle the things holding you back. 

If you’re done tiptoeing around food and ready to stop feeling like a walking craving machine — this is your next step. Get started here.

And remember: you’ve got permission (for real this time).

Listen & subscribe on your favorite platform:  Apple Podcasts  | Spotify | Deezer |  Google

Search for Ep.190 (Transcript): Why You Still Feel Out of Control Around Food – Even When You’re Not Dieting

Looking for more support on your journey to food freedom and body acceptance?

• Join my Facebook group & community “Intuitive Eating Made Easy”
• Take my FREE quiz “What’s Your Unique Path to Food Freedom?”
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• Check out my course, Non-Diet Academy